I had been sexually active for 9 years, and had never had a scare.

When I first missed my period, I just kept thinking no way I could be pregnant, I had been sexually active for 9 years, and had never had a scare.
After a few days I did a home test, hoping it would be negative and calm my nerves. But it wasn't it was positive, I couldn't believe it. I never thought I'd be "one of those girls".
Worst of all the father was my ex boyfriend who I had only dated for 3 months and broke up with months ago because he had no job and no ambition.

Even though I was 25, I was in no position to have a baby

I had just recently started going back to school, was living with my grandmother, and saving money for a car. I was 100% sure I wanted an abortion.
I couldn't help but hate my ex, I felt like he had done this to me, and it was all his fault, even though I knew there was two of us there when it happened. I told him he had nothing to offer me, and none of this had anything to do with him, he didn't even have $$ to help me pay for the procedure. He had nothing to say, didn't know how to be understanding, or comfort me.
Luckily I have a mother I can tell anything to, a mother who had actually had her own experience with abortion before I was born. I decided to go with the abortion pill and I scheduled my appointment. The women I spoke to on the phone, didn't give to much information, so I took off what I thought was the right days, the day of the appt and the day after. But I didn't learn till later that the day of your appt and the next day are fine to work it's actually 48 hours later when you have the pain and cramping and bleeding.
After a pregnancy test, blood work, and injection, and a sonogram (I thought it was going to be horrible seeing it, but the doctor made sure I didn't and just said I was exactly where I thought I was about 5 weeks pregnant).

They handed me a glass of water and the 1st pill

That day I felt nothing unusual, the next day about 24 hours after I took the 1st pill I had reddish discharge, but no pain.
At midnight on the second day is when I was to vaginally insert the other pills.
As it got later in the day I started getting really scared, I read other people experience some good some bad. I even resorted to calling my ex cause I wanted him to know what I was going through. It's not fair he just gets to go on with his normal life while I suffer.
I made all the preparations, extra thick pads, granny panties, put a mat on my mattress,lit some candles, and tried to make the atmosphere as relaxing as possible. As the time ticked closer my nerves were going crazy.

I was shaking and dreading what was about to happen

I put a movie on, and tried to relax.
Within an hour I was having pretty bad cramps, I've always had bad cramps on the 1st day of every period. These were a little intense but not horrible. I passed in a out of sleep for a while.
Around 4am I woke up to slight leakage and went to the bathroom to change my pad and underwear. I took more painkillers and again had another round of cramping, which I tried to sleep through.
I got up a couple times to use the bathroom, heard what I'm guessing was clots and tissue going into the toilet.

I had already told myself not to look and just flush

By 8am I felt fine and slept in till about noon. At noon I felt like it was just a normal period, and ended up calling my boss and telling him I could work that night.
I just wanted to tell my story, because some stories I read were really scary. Expect the worst and if it's not that bad you'll be relieved. If you're relaxed you're body will relax and everything will come out easier.
I have learned from this experience and don't plan on sleeping with anyone any time soon. Sex = babies, and even though we all learned that growing up after years and years of doing it with no consequences we might forget.

Editor's Comment

Thanks for sharing your story. It does help to hear the wide variety of experiences that women go through, and everybody reacts slightly differently. It's good that you had your mum to talk to about your decision. It's always important to give yourself time to think through your choices and look at the information so that you are sure about your decision and options. Your final comment is interesting as many people do take risks with contraception, and no contraception is ever 100% safe, although many of the longacting methods have a low failure rate. If you need any help, support or information please call the national helpline 0300 4000 999.
This story was sent in on 14/11/2010 and it's been viewed 654 times.

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