A medical abortion at 13 weeks for foetal abnormality

I had a medical abortion done at 13 weeks, after catching chickenpox at 7 weeks and a scan showing the foetus was deformed.
I went for medical as I was told most people go for that and I wanted to avoid the anaesthetic.

My experience was horrific and I would not recommend the medical procedure.

The pain, which the young midwife told me was like a period pain, was actually agonizing!
They basically put you into premature labour and you have to give birth into a bed pan over the toilet. When the baby passed it was around the size of a lemon. Apart from the obvious deformity, the baby was formed in every way. It was extremely traumatic. I was in the toilet with the pan and my dead foetus, able to touch it and look at it. Something which will stay with me for life. I then had to stay for 2 hours after and then went home.
Within 2 days I was in agony, I was given antibiotics for a pelvic infection which made the pain no better. After 2 weeks and several gp visits I was sent for a scan.

A scan confirmed that part of the placenta was still growing inside me.

I had lost nearly 1 and half stone in the 2 weeks, and felt dreadful. I was rushed in for an emergency procedure and had to stay overnight as I did not come out of the anaesthetic very well due to being so ill before hand.
So I had to have the anaesthetic anyway! This was by far the best method and I wish I had done this in the first place. I am still not eating the way I was before hand, and have changed my diet completely.
I don't feel 100% yet physically, 4 weeks on, and emotionally I feel that there is something missing in my life and need to give something back. Like maybe doing some charity work. I think if I had had the surgical procedure first of all, I would be in a very different place emotionally and physically right now! I hope that I have helped anyone who is faced with this dilemma, and hope to be able to put this behind me as we go into a new year. Thanks for reading.

Editor's Comment

I am sorry that you have had such a bad experience. It must have been hard enough finding out the the chickenpox had affected the baby, and then to go through more trauma was very hard to come to terms with. A medical abortion at 13 weeks is later than the usual early medical terminations which are normally between 5 and 9 weeks of pregnancy. I am surprised that you did not have better pain relief, and that you were left in the toilet by yourself. Retained placenta is one of the complications of a medical abortion and as you describe requires surgical removal. It is very understandable that you are feeling a sense of loss and grief, and although charity work would be a great way to do something positive, I think it would help you to talk this through with someone as well. You could follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area. or you can talk to an advisor on the national helpline 0300 4000 999.

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