16 and pressurised into abortion

When I was 16 I fell into a bad crowd.
I was drinking and doing drugs before school.
I would lie to my parents to hang out with my boyfriend who I wasn't allowed to be with, but I didn't care because I thought I loved him.
He took my virginity. Eventually I knew the life I was living was wrong so I turned to Christ.
My life did a complete 180 and it had never been better.
In May of my junior year in high school I got involved with a new guy. I thought he was great and my parents actually liked him. But he talked me into having sex with him. He said "You already did it once, your going to hell anyways."
So I gave in because I believed him and I was hurt. I ended up getting pregnant and he didn't even give me an option. He said I had to have an abortion.

I was heart broken it was against everything I believed in

So I reluctantly went through with it and he competely stopped talking to me and so did all of my friends.
I was alone, I had no one. I started to drink and do drugs again. I even tried to kill myself.
My best friend and my current boyfriend helped me get out of the mess I was in.
I am still heart broken and cry alot but I'm not unstable anymore.
No matter what I do I can't seem to get over it. In three days it will be exactly a year and a half since the abortion. I am only 19 years old, I can't handle it anymore.

Editor's Comment

I'm very sorry that you were pressurised into a decision that was against everything you believed in. The pain you are experiencing now comes from that place where you felt forced to betray your strong values and beliefs. There is help for you through post abortion counselling and support and I would strongly advise you to get help so that you can move on from this painful experience. If you log on to Online advisor you can access help through the website.
This story was sent in on 29/01/2011 and it's been viewed 427 times.

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