Abortion was the best option - I couldn't possibly give the child the life I would like to

It was two days after my 17th birthday, and I had been in a relationship with a boy who was 5 years older than me for about 3 months.

I also had two best friends who I was very close with and shared all secrets with as any other regular teenager would.

We had being practicing safe sex, but unfortunately I fell pregnant

Stupidly I believed my boyfriend at the time when he told me whatever I chose to do with the pregnancy he would stand by me but I felt abortion was the best option as I'm only young and couldn't possibly give the child the life I would like to.

The same day I found out I was pregnant I saw my doctor who confirmed my pregnancy and arranged for me to speak to someone and to organise the termination.

When me and my boyfriend left the doctor's, in the car park he told me he didn't want to be with me any more, so I left the car and walked away in tears.

I was heading for my best friend's house but when I got there I was told she was out and then later that day I discovered she was with my boyfriend and had been having a relationship with him for the past 6 weeks.

This tore me apart I had so many people around me but I had never felt so alone in my life. Later that night I told my dad I was pregnant, my eyes were swollen and sore from all the tears so he could tell what I was upset.

My dad promised to stand by me in whatever decision I made, but I could see the disappointment he was feeling.

Two weeks later I went for a scan to see how far along I was, I was 12 weeks!

I know I shouldn't of but I looked at the baby and I became emotionally attached

I had to put all of them feelings and images I had in the back of my mind because I would be failing that child by not being able to provide it with a father figure because my boyfriend had disappeared and didn't want to know me!

I arranged the appointment to carry out the termination and went through with it 10 days later.

I realise I didn't think it through

Now 2 months down the line I realise I didn't think it through.

I could of had the support others don't get although I didn't have my boyfriend or best friend I had my dad and now I don't have my boyfriend, best friend or the child I now long for!

I feel so much guilt and cry every night, if I could turn back time I would.

This story was sent in on 08/02/2011 and it's been viewed 716 times.

Editor's comment

You have been badly let down in your relationship with your boyfriend and best friend. It must have been very upsetting to find out that they were cheating behind your back, and difficult to make a decision when you had just found out.

It is sad that you were not able to talk your decision through properly and give yourself time to think about how you would feel afterwards.

I think it may help you to have some post-abortion counselling to work through some of these very painful emotions. Please follow the link to find a centre for post-abortion support in your area.

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