A muslim girl who had an abortion

I had an abortion in July 2010. I regret it terribly. When I came to know I was pregnant; it was a Friday; I could not believe it. As I told this my boyfriend, he told me that the next day, we will go to a doctor and get rid of it.

How could he say GET RID!?!

I was still thinking what was happening. I did not talk to him until Sunday. I kept crying; thinking how my baby is, should I do the abortion or not?!!
On Monday morning, I met my boyfriend and went to the doctor who made an ultrasound where I saw the dot (MY BABY) and could hear him. I was given an appointment for the next day.
On Tuesday morning, I met my boyfriend and we drove to the clinic where I made some tests before the operation. I was asked to undress and put on a white cloth. I then laid on the table and was taken to the Operation room. I was exactly 2 months pregnant. I can't forget it. It happened so quickly; I was asleep and after about half an hour; the procedure was over. My baby was goneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, dead, never come back ever.........

I regret it until now and think it's the worst thing a woman can go through

After that, I left my boyfriend as I changed; I could not see him anymore, everytime I met him, I was remembering how he did not care for MY BABY!!!! Being a muslim girl, my parents thinking am virgin are looking for a guy to get married. I am not yet over this abortion. I wonder how I will be able to appear like a virgin on my first wedding night!!!?!!!

Editor's Comment

It sounds as though your boyfriend made the decision for you and that you felt as though you didn't have a voice to say what you wanted. It sounds a very painful experience for you. Your culture requires that girls are virgins when they marry, but it seems as though your boyfriend was happy to sleep with you before marriage. I wonder if he will expect to marry a virgin? If you feel that you need some more help and support there are 3 options. You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

Other similar/related stories…

I had a surgical abortion as I'm 35 & smoke more than 10 a day

To say I was shocked is an understatement…

Previous

A surgical abortion 6 months ago

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or are being affected by similar issues from your past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be very difficult but rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →