We should've been able to deal with a baby but in reality it wasn't so simple

Hi I just wanted to write on here as I found this website really useful when I was deciding whether or not to have an abortion.

I am 25 years old and my partner is 26, we have been together 3 years and have lived together almost 2.

In text that sounds like we should have been able to deal with a baby but in reality it was not that simple.

I have been on the pill for 8 years occasionally missing 1 or 2 but with no issues then 3 weeks ago my monthly bleed did not come which concerned me. I did a test but it was negative so I carried on with life.

As the week progressed I noticed changes such as my breasts felt tender and there was still no sign of my period so as the test had come in a pack of two I did the other test...

I was absolutely devastated- it was positive!

I told my partner who was in shock and originally didn't handle it too well advising that he could not be a father yet. This was really hard to hear as although I knew he wouldn't be happy I thought the decision was mine to make and not to be dictated to me.

I was going back and forth in my mind as I didn't want an abortion through fear that it would make me infertile but I was not quite ready to be a parent with things like getting married that I wanted to do before.

I found it really useful to write a list of things I wanted to do before I'm a parent like going to Thailand, buying a house (as we are currently renting). This made having an abortion have a more positive ending.

After going backwards and forwards in my mind and talking with my boyfriend honestly I knew that this wasn't the right time for us as a couple and had to imagine doing it alone as worse case scenario (even though my bf had reassured me at this point that he would stand by me).

Surgical abortion at a BPAS clinic

Yesterday I went for a surgical abortion at a BPAS clinic.

The nurses there were lovely and you are surrounded by people going through the same thing.

I just wanted to reassure anyone in the same position I was in that it isn't as horrific as it sounds. The only thing you remember is being injected in your hand' with the general anaesthetic and then next thing you are being woken up and it's over.

I feel really positive today and I know it's early days but you have to realise that because you don't want to go through an abortion is no reason to bring a child into this world.

Good luck to anyone out there in this position xxx

This story was sent in on 06/06/2011 and it's been viewed 1,007 times.

Editor's comment

I am glad that the website was helpful and that you are feeling positive about your experience. I hope you will use it in the future if you need to.

Other similar/related stories…

A regreted medical abortion

Previous

A surgical abortion at 7 weeks

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or have been affected by similar issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be difficult but can be very rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →