A surgical abortion at 5 weeks and 6 days

I'm a 32 year old single mom of 3 young boys.
I went from a bad marriage to a bad relationship all in the past 10 years. When I finally ended that I started a casual relationship with a man who I've known several years.
I had just had my iud removed and started on pills. Then I missed a period. I was scared and knew I wasn't ready for this. I told the man and at first he pretended to be supportive that soon followed with name calling and accusations a few days later.

I did not want my children to see another man in our lives treating me badly.

I knew I could not have another child financially or emotionally. I had a surgical abortion done yesterday I measured 5 weeks 6 days. There wasn't even a yolk sac in there yet. I didn't see anything. I've had so many emotions today. He didn't even go with me or ask how I was. The only thing he asked for was his gps back. If this was the right decision for me and my boys, why does it hurt so bad?

Editor's Comment

Your head was telling you that you did not want to be tied into another bad relationship and you were probably able to rationalise your decision. However, your heart is often sending you different messages and this is where the pain comes from. You may have always felt that abortion was not a good choice for you personally, or you may have already felt something for the potential life you were carrying even though it was still very early. When you have carried a baby to term and given birth, you know what it is like and how you felt about your boys. Subconsciously, you may have imagined what it would have been like if you continued the pregnancy. It may help you to have some post abortion help and support and this is available through the CareConfidential website.
This story was sent in on 06/04/2012 and it's been viewed 877 times.

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