I'm an 18 year old woman, I had my surgical abortion almost 11 months ago.

I'm an 18 year old woman, I had my surgical abortion almost 11 months ago. The time I found out I was pregnant, and before the procedure is all a bit blurry. I don't really remember a lot of it. But when I found out I was pregnant, I had no idea what to do, I always said I didn't want children, but being in that situation made me think about it properly.
When I went to the doctor's, the appointment lasted about 2 minutes. He just said he'd ring me tomorrow with the appointment for the scan, which he did. I couldn't really stop thinking about it for the 3 days I had to wait for the scan, it just flew by. I felt like I didn't have enough time to think about my decision, but I couldn't leave it too late. When I went for the scan, I had a meeting with a lady, who just told me what to do and when to be here for the operation.

I didn't get offered any advice about the emotional sides to it.

On the day, my boyfriend and my mum were with me. I felt like I had to go along with everything, so I didn't cry and I didn't really say much to anybody. I also had the implant put in at the same time as the surgery. The nurse told my mum I'd be in there for about 20 to 30 minutes. But I was in there for just under a hour. But the nurses reassured my mum I was fine.
After the procedure, I didn't stop bleeding for 9 months, also with really strong stomach pains, during the time bleeding I had things coming out, they looked abit like blood clots but more round and pink. I went to the walk-in centre 5 times, but I did nothing but wait about 8 hours then get sent home with different antibiotics. I had scans and internal examinations but they found nothing. I went doctor's and the woman decided to put me on the patch to see if it'd at least stop the bleeding, and maybe do something about the pains. It stopped the bleeding, but the pains only got worse and worse. After I finished the course of the patch, I started bleeding again. I've been back to the doctor's and I've not long ago had another scan. And I have to wait for another doctor's appointment to find out if they found anything. I'm still in constant agony, I take the maximum allowed pain killers a day and it's still there. I've learnt to live with it after 11 months, but it stops me from doing so much.

As for being emotional, I've felt like ending my own life sometimes just for all of this to go away.

I've not really had much family support, but what can they do? I find it difficult to talk about without bursting into tears. I really am struggling to cope with this, and after 11 months, surely something should have been found now? I'm still with my boyfriend of 3 years but it's had such a big affect on out relationship. I really don't know what to do any more. Just feels like I'm waiting around for nothing. I'm scared to hear if they've found something, but even more scared to find out that they've not.

Editor's Comment

Your post abortion recovery has not gone well, and I wonder if you are now looking back and trying to work out the decision making precess that you went through. It seems strange that the health professionals have been unable to sort out the horrible pain and bleeding you are experiencing. I wonder if you should push to be refered to one of the obstetric and gynaecology consultants, as 11 months is a long time to be having problems.
If you would like some more support from Careconfidential please contact us. You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.
This story was sent in on 18/07/2012 and it's been viewed 672 times.

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