The reason I am sharing this story is that I have always said I could not go through an abortion, it's something I barely could have considered. But when I found out I was pregnant, the decision could not have been clearer. I gave myself time in my own mind to be sure, a week, and then told him, and he agreed this was absolutely the right choice.
I had to go for a scan to check that my dates were right, although I knew, and that was probably the strangest bit of the whole procedure, a real scan. But I had him with me, and did not have to see/ hear anything. A few days after that, a Tuesday, I went in to take the first pill, and made the difficult decision to stay in hospital for the day on Thursday for the procedure, just in case. I started some light bleeding on Wednesday afternoon.
On Thursday went in to the hospital, alone, at half past 8, and at 8.50 had 4 tablets inserted internally, as well as an antibiotic inserted somewhere no-one wants one! But any embarrassment was made better by the thought of how often the nurses do this.
I was fine aside from a little discomfort until around 11 when I started having pain. I was given painkillers but the pain was quite extreme, worse than bad period pain. However by about 1 o'clock the pain had mostly worn off, or the painkillers had started working, and at half past 2 I was allowed to go home. They advise someone should pick you up if no-one is with you, but I was quite happy and able to drive myself. I was glad then that I had stayed for the day as it meant I could go home knowing the worst of it was over.
The pain came and went for the next day, but nowhere near as bad. I had bleeding for the next 10 days, with some clots at the beginning, but mostly like a heavy, longer, period. I have had no regret at all about the choice I made, despite my previous opinions about abortion. I do think sometimes about what might have been, but only because the situation seems a little surreal! I do not feel guilty or sad about it, I know I did the best for me and for him, and that it would not have been good for any baby to be born into my current situation, when I am embarking on a new career but not very financially able.
I understand that some people feel completely different, but I have battled depression for 8 years, and was so scared of my reaction to this. I want anyone in the same situation to believe that it is not an impossible situation, that if they are clear what they want in their mind it can be worked through.