I had a medical termination when I was 9 weeks pregnant with twins.
The following days have been very emotional and confusing to me. I flew to Europe to work but as the nausea kicked in I wasn't able to (working in performing arts I wasn't able to do rehearsals). So I stayed with my parents who were really supportive and expressed their support no matter what decision I am gonna make. I catched up with good friends to discuss my situation, which made me feel a lot better as I have some very close friends back home which I miss having over here. A few of them have a child and had an abortion before, so it was helpful to be told how both scenarios affect your life. However the same situation is always different compared to other people's life and I kept struggling.
The following week I thought about all possible scenarios and what I was expecting from my life at the moment, what I could afford etc. Being pregnant I wouldn't have been able to continue with my work the way it is at the moment and I'd definitely had to move away close to my parents (to have support) who are not living in UK like I do at the moment.
Back in UK my partner and I had several conversations and decided that it was the best to terminate the pregnancy for everyone involved, including the unborn child. I knew it was the right thing to do even though there was a huge gap between reasoning and emotions.
We went to our GP and told her about our current situation. She was very understanding and didn't seem to try pushing me in any direction, which I was a bit worried about. She explained me about the medical termination and that it was still early enough to do so. I was sent home and had to wait for an appointment at the clinic to get the pill. Unfortunately the appointment was 10 days later, which seemed a long time to wait. During that time I had so many up and downs and the morning sickness went absolutely worse. I basically spend more time on the toilet than elsewhere. On many days I couldn't even keep water. I was looking forward to feeling better and felt relieved when we went to the clinic to start with the first pill. When we arrived there I was quite upset but the nurses were really nice and my partner was very supportive and showed a lot of sympathy for my inner confusion. When we went for the scan the nurse couldn't see clear and had to do a vaginal scan. It felt like ages that she was looking at the screen trying to figure out in which week I was. She asked me if I was told I had a heart-shaped womb before as it seemed to look that way. I haven't heard about it before but got a bit worried when she told me she would need a second opinion and had to call someone. I thought I am seriously ill. Another person (not sure if it was a nurse or a doctor) came and said that she can confirm her diagnosis. Until then I didn't know what everyone was talking about. I was told to put on my clothes again and that I had to do the smear for a chlamydia test. I got up and could see the screen where I saw a fetus that was measured. Underneath it said 'twin A' but by that time (god knows why) I didn't realise what that means (even though it's obvious). I just felt paralysed and everything seemed unreal.
When I came back from the toilet a doctor wanted to see me. My partner and I went together and he said I was 8 weeks pregnant with twins. Hearing that I totally broke down. I cried and felt like everything around me breaks together. I don't really remember what happened, like what the doctor or my partner said but I know that I was sent home again as it was obvious I wasn't in a state to make a decision. I was told that I had to come back the next day as this would be my last day for a medical termination but that I should be certain about my decision and that I could call and talk to someone if I needed further help/advice. Even though I am 30 years old the only thing I could think of was phoning my mum, which I did. We had a chat about it all and I realised that my reason not to have one child at the moment is not gonna change because it is now two. I think the word 'twins' have made me picture actual children while before I was talking about a fertilised egg. So we went back the next day and even though I cried all the time I took the first pill. As my morning sickness was very bad I struggled not to be sick. Thankfully I haven't went through emotional struggle that day like many other women did judging by what I read on here. Not even 24 hours later I had to go the clinic to receive the second treatment. Unfortunately my partner wasn't allowed in, which would have had helped me a lot. The nurse, who was very kind, inserted the tablets vaginal and gave me an injection against my sickness. After about 30 minutes the pain started and I took painkillers that were already placed at my bed. Unfortunately it took me only 5 minutes to spit them out again. The nurse gave me another injection against pain and I felt asleep for about 30 minutes. After that I suffered from really bad cramps accompanied my constant vomiting. I had to go to toilet but wasn't able to walk myself anymore due to the pain and dizziness. The nurse took me to the bed-pan in the bathroom and by that time I was bleeding heavily. I felt blood and clots/tissue coming out and I thought it's never gonna stop.
After a while I felt a little less pain and the nurse gave me a pad and asked me to lay down in bed again. I remember she gave me another two pills I had to swallow and I had a bit of tea hoping I wasn't going to be sick again. I slept again for a bit and went to toilet with extremely painful stomach cramps. It was about the same procedure as before but with much heavier pain. I went back to bed and the nurse said I hadn't pass all and she would ask me again to go to the bathroom in a while. Back in bed the pain got so worse that I called the nurse asking for another injection against the pain. She said that I have expulsive pains now and it would be best to try again pushing. I remember thinking that this can't be normal and thought I am going to just pass out. I pushed on toilet while having a bowl in my hand where I was vomiting in and I didn't know which was the worst. After a while the pain disappeared and I changed my pad to go back to bed.