A medical abortion with complications
She didn't re-test me or say much other than she would refer me to the maternity hospital to further discuss my options.
I had to wait a week until I could get seen there, I have to say it was possibly the longest week of my life. I felt so ill, exhausted and emotional. To add to this I couldn't tell many people as I was scared of the judgment and the stigma attached to abortion. So I sought advice from friends and family who I felt would understand but it was difficult as I felt they didn't get it.
My dad was possibly the worse as he tried to change my mind and I felt more sad because I was at peace with my decision, but he made it more difficult. Anyway after the long week I went to hospital to be surrounded by pregnant women and children which wasn't the nicest either. I went in the room on my own but my partner was in the waiting room. The midwife I saw was so nice and gave me lots of info and was very supportive. However the doctor I saw made a couple of insensitive comments which were upsetting.
I then had to wait three days and return for the start of the medical termination which was one tablet that made me feel sick and dizzy. I had to return again to the hospital on the Monday and I took more tablets four in my vagina, three orally and one up my bum. I was able to do this myself which was better. I had to wait for a few hours and nothing happened then I had to take two more tablets orally. I then started to bleed and passed out rather large clots. This was distressing and painful. Although I was realised it would be over soon. I returned to work two days later as my bleeding was just like a normal period. I tried to forget about what had happened and get back to normal. Come the Friday I was bleeding very very heavily and I phoned NHS 24 and they advised me to go to a&e. I was petrified the blood was coming out very quickly and the pain I felt in my stomach and lower back was horrific. When I got to the hospital the waiting room was quiet. I got moved to a room very quickly and a doctor came in and put a drip needle in to give access to a vein if they needed. I got moved to the gynaecology ward, I was taken into a room where the doctor examined me and did an internal scan followed by a very painful internal swabbing to remove the clot that was stuck. I was in extreme agony and very emotional. The nurse was very nice and I went back to my room, I didn't get much sleep as I was in pain and there was lots of noise but was discharged the next day about 11 in the morning. I was fine for the first couple of hours but then the pain and blood got so bad my partner had to rush me back to a&e. From the car to the reception I had leaked blood right through a pad, underwear and trousers. It was running down my legs and I was in so much pain. I went to a room and a doctor came and again swabbed inside of me. Again this was agony and I couldn't stop crying. The doctor had removed more clots and I was moved to the gynaecology ward again. They waited until the next day and I got another internal scan. They seen a clot at 2.5cm which they wanted to remove via surgical extraction. Because it was a Sunday I had to wait on the surgery but was taken down a half 3. I was scared and crying but the theatre nurses were very nice. It was over very quickly and I woke up in a bit of pain but they gave me plenty pain relief and I was moved back up to the ward soon after. I was very teary and drowsy. I stayed in the hospital another night and was discharged after the bleeding had stopped.
I have been home now for two days and it's hard. I find myself crying a lot and very down. Also get angry and blame myself for what has happened. It's difficult to know where to turn and what to do as you feel nobody will I understand. I want to speak to a doctor but I really hate the doctors and get extremely worked up and nervous. Mixed in with the emotions I am already going through I am stuck.