A medical abortion with complications

On the 3rd of July I found out I was pregnant, after a couple of weeks of feeling ill (I am never normally not well). My initial thoughts were utter dread. I have been with my partner for 2 years, who I love very much but we have had our ups and downs and are both still young. He was very supportive and came to the doctors with me the next day after work so I wasn't on my own. Luckily I saw a woman doctor and I explained that I had had a positive test result and didn't want to keep the baby.
She didn't re-test me or say much other than she would refer me to the maternity hospital to further discuss my options.
I had to wait a week until I could get seen there, I have to say it was possibly the longest week of my life. I felt so ill, exhausted and emotional. To add to this I couldn't tell many people as I was scared of the judgment and the stigma attached to abortion. So I sought advice from friends and family who I felt would understand but it was difficult as I felt they didn't get it.
My dad was possibly the worse as he tried to change my mind and I felt more sad because I was at peace with my decision, but he made it more difficult. Anyway after the long week I went to hospital to be surrounded by pregnant women and children which wasn't the nicest either. I went in the room on my own but my partner was in the waiting room. The midwife I saw was so nice and gave me lots of info and was very supportive. However the doctor I saw made a couple of insensitive comments which were upsetting.
I then had to wait three days and return for the start of the medical termination which was one tablet that made me feel sick and dizzy. I had to return again to the hospital on the Monday and I took more tablets four in my vagina, three orally and one up my bum. I was able to do this myself which was better. I had to wait for a few hours and nothing happened then I had to take two more tablets orally. I then started to bleed and passed out rather large clots. This was distressing and painful. Although I was realised it would be over soon. I returned to work two days later as my bleeding was just like a normal period. I tried to forget about what had happened and get back to normal. Come the Friday I was bleeding very very heavily and I phoned NHS 24 and they advised me to go to a&e. I was petrified the blood was coming out very quickly and the pain I felt in my stomach and lower back was horrific. When I got to the hospital the waiting room was quiet. I got moved to a room very quickly and a doctor came in and put a drip needle in to give access to a vein if they needed. I got moved to the gynaecology ward, I was taken into a room where the doctor examined me and did an internal scan followed by a very painful internal swabbing to remove the clot that was stuck. I was in extreme agony and very emotional. The nurse was very nice and I went back to my room, I didn't get much sleep as I was in pain and there was lots of noise but was discharged the next day about 11 in the morning. I was fine for the first couple of hours but then the pain and blood got so bad my partner had to rush me back to a&e. From the car to the reception I had leaked blood right through a pad, underwear and trousers. It was running down my legs and I was in so much pain. I went to a room and a doctor came and again swabbed inside of me. Again this was agony and I couldn't stop crying. The doctor had removed more clots and I was moved to the gynaecology ward again. They waited until the next day and I got another internal scan. They seen a clot at 2.5cm which they wanted to remove via surgical extraction. Because it was a Sunday I had to wait on the surgery but was taken down a half 3. I was scared and crying but the theatre nurses were very nice. It was over very quickly and I woke up in a bit of pain but they gave me plenty pain relief and I was moved back up to the ward soon after. I was very teary and drowsy. I stayed in the hospital another night and was discharged after the bleeding had stopped.

I have been home now for two days and it's hard. I find myself crying a lot and very down. Also get angry and blame myself for what has happened. It's difficult to know where to turn and what to do as you feel nobody will I understand. I want to speak to a doctor but I really hate the doctors and get extremely worked up and nervous. Mixed in with the emotions I am already going through I am stuck.

Editor's Comment

It sounds as though you have had a very rough time with 2 hospital admissions following the abortion. There is sometimes a risk of bleeding following a medical abortion and your pain and bleeding must have been very frightening. I can understand why you are getting a reaction to the doctors after your experience. If you would like to talk this through with an advisor please contact CareConfidential. You can call the national helpline, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.
This story was sent in on 24/07/2013 and it's been viewed 359 times.

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