I have just come home from an early medical abortion

I have just come home from an early medical abortion and after getting help and advice from this site, I wanted to share my own story. I found out I was pregnant a week and a half ago. I have been on the pill so it came as a bit of a shock. I took them religiously but still ended up pregnant (so girls, don't just rely on the pill alone!! It's not 100% effective!!). My partner and I are not financially ready for children as we don't even live together yet and are both full time students. We do want to have children together one day, but now isn't the right time. I made an appointment to see my doctor, was extremely nervous about telling my story and whether she would believe me about the pill failing! I got a massive shock when she told me she would not refer me to the hospital for a termination due to her own personal beliefs. I recommend that anyone who is going through their doctor asks for a doctor who will make a referral for a termination before making the appointment!! This set back made me really panicked and although I thought I was just 5 weeks pregnant, I could hear the clock ticking. We went to our local sexual health clinic the next day and were referred from there. The nurse who referred me was lovely, non judgemental and completely understanding. I didn't feel like I needed to explain myself or feel embarrassed. She just calmly explained where she was referring me and what would happen next. I was given an appointment at the gyny ward for 2 days later. The nurse there was even nicer and very caring. She carried out an ultrasound (but made sure I couldn't see the screen), confirmed my gestation and explained my options. I chose an early medical abortion and chose to stay in the hospital to have it (there was also the option to go home after being given the second set of pills to induce the termination). **The one thing that upset me the most was when she told me who would take care of the remains and that they would go to a crematorium. That made it all feel real**. I know the anti-abortion lot would say otherwise but this decision isn't one I WANTED to make, it's one I felt was right for me, my partner and the potential baby. We can't bring up a baby on two student loans whilst living at home. I hadn't got pregnant deliberately and then chose abortion as the easy way out.

Abortion isn't an easy way out, it's terrifying.

You don't know what to really expect after reading all the forums and horror stories, and even the nurse said-everyone is different in the way they react and find it. You just don't know what to expect. Anyway, I had an appointment for my first pill 3 days later and then the second pills the day after that. I was in a room to myself and the nurse got me started on the pills straightaway. Four were inserted vaginally and two pills for pain relief and an antibiotic were put in my bottom. It felt strange, the only word I can think to describe the feeling was 'bubbly'. Then there was the wait. The nurse told me to get up and move around to get things started and so I did. I had to use a bed pan each time I went to the toilet (slightly embarrassing!!) so that they could keep an eye on things. About 3 hours later I started to feel a light cramping and then 4 hours later it felt like a bad period was about to begin. I went to the toilet and there were lots of clots. Then I went back to the room and felt something sort of drip down below. It felt like I had passed some discharge, but I knew that was it. The nurse confirmed that the white 'blob' meant the pregnancy had passed successfully and I could go home. I've had stomach cramps all afternoon but nothing worse than a period. To anyone who is having a medical abortion I would say: 1) do not accept everything you read on the Internet as gospel-there are many anti-abortionists out there who would have you believe the pain is horrifically terrible, it's not. 2) drink lots of water before and during the process of passing the pregnancy, it means you will pee more and I think that helped to speed the process up-and possibly reduce the pain 3) get up and move around-it makes sense to let things move around. I hope I have helped someone, I know how scary it is and how terrible you can feel after reading stories online - but in my experience, it wasn't as bad as it was made out to be!

Editor's Comment

I agree that you need to be careful if someone has a hidden agenda as you may feel manipulated when making your decision. This could be the case with anti and pro abortion minded people.
It must have been a shock to find that the pill had failed, and that you felt unable to continue the pregnancy. I understand it was difficult for you to see the GP who did not refer for abortion, but at least she was upfront and clear about it.
I hope that you are recovering well and getting your life on track again.
This story was sent in on 27/08/2013 and it's been viewed 356 times.

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