A medical abortion at 15 weeks.

When I found out I was pregnant I told my boyfriend straight away, the first thing he said was for me to get an abortion. I was so torn between the idea of having an abortion knowing it was the right thing to do, but still knowing deep down I wanted to keep the baby. I kept putting it to the back of my mind and putting it off to make an appointment hoping my boyfriend would change his mind and want to keep the baby.
I'm 18 and just left school, I'm looking for a job and only working part time. My boyfriend has a low paid full time job with saving issues, so I knew I couldn't give the baby a life that he or she deserved.
I finally booked the appointment without telling my parents and found out I was 15 weeks pregnant. I was so angry at myself for leaving it so long! But I still knew I had to do it. I went for the medical abortion and my boyfriend was there, we had both lied to our parents on where we were which was the worse thing I've done!
I was in so much pain and it felt I was stuck at the the hospital for a lifetime as I was so far on I had to give birth to a fetus. I knew it would be fully developed and the nurses told me not to look when it happened, but I couldn't help it and I did. It didn't hit me what I had just done.
Once I left I knew I had done the right thing.
Two weeks on, what I have done is haunting me, and I feel so empty and alone. Have I done the wrong thing? will I look back in ten years time and think I would have a son or daughter, and wonder what they would be like, how my life would have panned out?
The worst thing is not thinking it through, I knew I couldn't support my child but everyone says there's a bond with your child when you're pregnant and I felt it.

Editor's Comment

It must have been a traumatic experience to have a medical abortion at 15 weeks. I am sure you felt a bond after being pregnant for 15 weeks, and I think you will need some help to come through some of the confusing thoughts and emotions you are feeling. I agree with you that taking time to think through your decision is all important. If you would like some post abortion support, please contact Careconfidential. You can call the national helpline, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.
This story was sent in on 09/11/2013 and it's been viewed 431 times.

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