I'm fifteen and well I'm pregnant

By anonymous on 15/01/2014
I'm fifteen and well I'm pregnant
So I'm fifteen and well I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have known each other for years and have been dating for awhile. We both got to where we wanted to have sex but I was still scared to. After a few months, I got comfortable with the thought of sex with him. So we did, we did a lot. After I missed my period, I went to a friend's house and took a test. It came back positive. All day at school I tried to figure out how I'd tell my mom. Later that day, I told her. There was screaming and crying and yelling. My parents were beyond mad.
They wouldn't let me see my boyfriend. They also kept trying to get me to do an abortion. I knew in my heart I wouldn't agree with it nor be alright with that decision. As my parents kept pushing, I got annoyed more and more each day. So I eventually agreed to do abortion.
My abortion appointment was scheduled for New Year's Eve. The night before I broke down crying. I tried not to think about the pregnancy this whole time hoping it'd be easier and not bother me. Just a 'go in, get out' thing. The more I thought about killing my baby the harder it was for me. I had made a plan to go through with the abortion but to kill myself that night.
The morning of my appointment, I got up crying. I cried the whole way there. Protesters were there which made me feel worse. I agreed with them not this. But I was trying to make mom happy and give her what she wanted. I got the vaginal ultrasound and found out I was 9 weeks and 3 days that day. When the lady asked if I wanted the pictures I said yes immediately and hid them. We went in to talk about what would happen with the procedure and I broke down. It sounded absolutely horrible. It broke my heart.
The lady there asked my mom to leave. Once she did, we talked. She told me I seem very upset, that I have a choice. After talking some more, she told me I can't give you an abortion with you not being okay with it and feeling how you feel.
I went and told my mom that I'm not doing it and she was mad. She told me to pack up and leave. When we got home, I packed. Then she came in and said I'm not leaving that would be too easy. My great grandma is coming down to talk to me. We really haven't talked since. She barely looks at me. She says she doesn't want a thing to do with me. But in my heart, I knew abortion was the wrong way to go. They always taught me to do what makes me happy and follow my heart.

Editor's Comment

However hard it is for your mother to cope with your pregnancy, ultimately you have to live with this decision for the rest of your life. If you felt so strongly that abortion was not for you, it could be very damaging for you to go through with it. I think the counsellor you saw realised how strongly you felt and perhaps that you were feeling pressurised. If you need to talk to someone or need some support please contact us. for unplanned pregnancy support.

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