Editor's CommentIt is terrible that your husband coerced you into a decision like that purely for his own benefits. It's not unusual for another big loss to trigger that grief reaction that has been lying hidden, but I would say that you should not be blaming yourself for not being stronger. In your early 20's you probably thought that your marriage was very important, and had no idea what was happening behind your back.
I would encourage you to have some post abortion counselling. many women find help and support even years after an abortion, and it sounds as though you would benefit from working through these painful emotions. Please call the helpline, or log onto online advisor for help. There are many practitioners trained in post abortion support around the country who would be glad to see you.for post abortion support.