I had a Medical Abortion

I was 17 when I got pregnant. My boyfriend and I were together for almost a year. I was throwing up everyday and had terrible headaches and one night it clicked in my head that I was pregnant,I just knew it.. when I told my boyfriend that I been throwing up he said he thought I was pregnant but I told him no even though I really felt as though I was.
One day after work he took me to a doctor and told him what was going on, and also told the doctor about the low abdominal cramping I had been having. The doctor looked right at me and said 'you're pregnant', and got up out of his seat and told us to follow him.
We went into a room with an ultrasound machine, he told me to lay down and my boyfriend took a seat and he placed the nice cold gel on my tummy and began. About 10 seconds after he said 'yes, yes you're pregnant'. I wasn't shocked because I already knew well I felt as if I knew.
The doctor asked if I was keeping the baby and before I could say yes my boyfriend told the doctor NO. I told him we should talk about it first and he said he wasn't ready to be a father and was finding every little stupid reason why I shouldn't keep the baby .. I wanted to keep my baby but he threatened to tell my mother before I was ready to .. the procedure was terrifying and I thought he would be by my side through it all, he tried but it didn't last for long it was like he was just happy that the baby was gone and didn't care about what I was going through.
I regret what I did ,if I could go back in time I would have finished the relationship and moved in with my dad and had my baby.. mother's day is tomorrow and I feel terrible. I can't stop crying. I have been an emotional wreck ever since. I wish I could go back in time because I loved my baby before we found out he was there, that's because I could feel he was there and I wish I could change things but I can't now and that's killing me.

Editor's Comment

It was hard to stand up for yourself when your boyfriend was so forceful. The only way would have been to end the relationship and at 17 you may not have felt strong enough to make such a major decision to leave and move to your dad's house. Your instinct was always to keep the baby, and that is very painful now. Coming to terms with what has happened will be difficult for you, but there is a way through and I would encourage you to look for post abortion support where you live.
This story was sent in on 11/05/2014 and it's been viewed 296 times.

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