I was 15 when I became pregnant.

I was 15 when I became pregnant. When I found out I was incredibly scared and had no idea how to deal with the situation. As I was young and uneducated I thought I could just take a pill and that would be it, little did I know there was much more to it. More than anything, my main fear was my parents finding out, I panicked massively and later realised I would have to take 2 days off school to have the abortion and recover.
I knew there was no way I could take 2 days off and hide it from my parents, so the nurse called my mum in and told her, from that point on I have never been truly happy. I had to fill out numerous forms and have check ups and scans and all sorts before I had the abortion and it was terrible. Even though I was only 2 months gone, I still feel like I've lost a massive part of my life and it hurts so bad.
My dad had strong beliefs and was incredibly angry, both parents didn't talk to me for a while and even though now, nearly 2 years on everything is okay, there still is that disappointment towards me.

Ever since the day I had it, I think about it

I think about what my baby would look like and how old he or she would be etc. it's torture. I didn't have a say on my abortion as I just wanted my parents to be okay with me so it was their decision, although I can see why I still feel like there is part of me missing every single day and found it incredibly hard to cope with at the start and still do now.
If I knew there was this much pain attached to has what happened to me and many other girls, then I would have done everything in my power to ensure it didn't happen.

Editor's Comment

It is a shock for many people who have an abortion how much it affects them. On one level it is a physical procedure that you go through, but emotionally and psychologically it can be a much bigger issue. Some women do find it hard to move on from an experience like this, and you may need help to be able to work through your thoughts and feelings. Help is available so please contact CareConfidential for more information, and don't feel that you have to try and struggle on alone. for post abortion support. or call the national helpline 0300 4000 999
This story was sent in on 30/07/2014 and it's been viewed 183 times.

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