Editor's CommentIt sounds as though you were very ambivalent about your decision, and I totally agree that in your situation you should have had time with a trained practitioner to help you think through your options and the consequences.
There has been a strong move to make it mandatory for counselling to be offered to every woman before an abortion, but at present it is only recommended as best practice so independent providers do not have to comply. If you feel you are able to write to BPAS sometime in the future, with a copy to your MP, it may help to bring this ruling in.
At present you are clearly struggling to come to terms with what has happened to you, and felt that the treadmill rendered you powerless to look at your other options. If you feel able, I think that getting some post abortion help would start to restore your strength and confidence. If you would like to pursue this it is available and you could start by logging into Online advisor which is a confidential counselling service, for post abortion support.