Having the baby wasn't an option

I met and fell in love with a guy in my training course with work. We clicked immediately and the rest they say is history. I knew I was pregnant the week it happened, 5 weeks after we first got together. We both had other lives and lived at opposite ends of the country so having the baby wasn't an option. I made an appointment at the clinic the day I found out, I got an appointment with the women's health clinic 2 weeks later. They were the longest two weeks of my life. I had my scan & was confirmed as 6 weeks pregnant & I was told to have a medical abortion. The process was fully explained to me & I was asked to come back that Saturday. I couldn't go at the weekends as I have an 8 year old & my partner was home that weekend. I had to make another appointment for the following week. That week was the longest & hardest week ever. I experienced every emotion known to man. Me & the baby's dad argued & fell out I was doing this all alone & keeping it a secret from my family. I went on the Wednesday & had my first tablet. I was worried & upset as to how I would feel emotionally but as always the nurses in the unit were amazing! I had the tablet & left after 5 minutes. I was told that if I was sick in the first hour I had to go back as the tablet wouldn't work. I felt ok, I had no side effects at all but emotionally I was fine. I felt a sense of relief, no more hiding or worrying! I went back in at 9am in the Friday, I had the tablets inserted inside if me which wasn't bad at all, I has 2 more tablets inserted into my back passage & again this was fine. I had to wear a tampon for an hour & a half. At 10.45 I had to remove the tampon, i was in the room just walking about, I had a coffee then about 20 minutes later I felt like I needed to wee. I went to the loo & used the bed pan, I felt blood run out of me then I had a really weird sensation, it wasn't painful at all, it was just weird, I looked in the bed pan even though they say not to. I was terrified of this but I'm glad I did. I could tell it was my baby along with other stuff. It looked just like a tiny jelly bean. I had read before that you could see arms & legs etc but I couldn't. I realised then that this was exactly the right thing to do. The nurse came for the pan & took it away, 5 mins later I had to go again & passed more clots. The nurse came back & checked it & told me that it was complete. In less than 2 hours I was done. I didn't need any pain relief & I didn't have any problems. I was out of hospital by 12.30. That night I cried for hours because the baby's dad called me & told me he loved me however our lives at the moment went we were meant for each other. Since the abortion I have been fine, no pain & a week later my bleeding had almost gone. I have read so many scary stories I wanted to share mine as it was as good an experience as it possibly can be.

Editor's Comment

Thanks for sharing your story. It must have been hard to face this experience alone, and carrying the secret from your family. Support is available if you need it, 0300 4000 999.
This story was sent in on 12/12/2014 and it's been viewed 242 times.

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