The biggest mistake of my entire life.

Three weeks ago yesterday I had my abortion and it has 100% been the biggest mistake of my entire life. Before I got pregnant me and my partner had always said that if this was to happen my only choice would be to have an abortion and he wouldn't have it any other way.
So this wasn't actually my decision. As soon as I got pregnant my mind completely changed about everything and I wanted to keep this baby and to be honest I was perfectly capable of looking after it and had more than enough support of my family and friends.
Although in the end I still went through with what my partner thought was best in fear of losing him. I'm torn up about it every single night when I'm alone wondering to myself what this baby would have looked like, I feel like I should be punished for this selfish decision I have made and I just want my baby.
I feel like I'm never going to feel happiness again knowing its my fault this baby hasn't had the chance to have a life and it did nothing to deserve that. I just want to say if you're thinking of having an abortion please do what you feel is truly best and don't let anybody else's opinion effect your choice and don't let anybody tell you what to do.
This is YOUR life and please please don't rush into abortion like I did and give yourself time to think as I am so disappointed in myself for letting anyone reflect in my decision.

Editor's Comment

It is so important to make the decision that you are at peace with, and not allow yourself to be pressurised into something you are unhappy about, even if you have changed your mind. This is hard when you are vulnerable and emotional in the early stages of pregnancy, and many women feel that their thoughts and feelings are constantly changing. Please follow the link to get help if you need it, for post abortion support.
This story was sent in on 25/01/2015 and it's been viewed 53 times.

Other similar/related stories…

Neglecting the consequences of my actions led to an abortion

It's happened to millions of girls like me…

Previous

Pregnant Abroad

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or are being affected by similar issues from your past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be very difficult but rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →