A surgical abortion at 16 and now possibly again at 22

I had an abortion back in 2008 when I was 16 years old. I didn't think I was ready, I knew I wasn't ready to be responsible for a child's life.

I was young and scared. Scared my mother would be upset because I had not only failed myself but her as well.

At 16 parenting wasn't an option

My boyfriend at the time was supportive he took me to Planned Parenthood and they told me what my options were.

I knew I couldn't have it so parenting wasn't an option, and adoption didn't make sense to me because I felt like if I gave birth to the baby I might as well have kept it. So I decided to get an abortion as I was only 16 years old. I couldn't take the pill so I had to get a surgical abortion at 6 weeks.

I remember falling asleep and waking up in mild pain. I cried once I was out the clinic and went through a hard time because I was young and couldn't believe I had done something so bad behind my mom's back.

Sometimes I can't really remember the feeling and the process I went through after everything was done.

At 22 I'm unsure

I am now 22 years old and I am going through the same thing again but this time I am unsure of my decision. I want to keep it yet I don't.

I am a very depressive person and somewhat bipolar my depression is mild not serious but I'm not mentally or financially stable to have a kid.

I'm currently engaged and have plans to get married in September; we have paid for the wedding, we had plans to travel and go back to college. This was unplanned I wanted to finish college, to have a career and build a future for my future kids.

Now I'm not sure what I'm going to do because I am scared to have a second abortion, I feel like maybe god will punish me and never let me be a mother.

It's what's best for my future family

Everyone has different situations that lead to them making a decision not to have a baby but who am I to take a child's life away, no one, just selfish and although it sounds selfish I feel like having the abortion would be what's best for my future family.

This story was sent in on 19/02/2015 and it's been viewed 335 times.

Editor's comment

It is hard to be in this position again, and although you are no longer very young, you obviously had your future planned out to finish college and have a career.
It is possible to do both but hard work studying and training, and looking after a baby.

It may be worth thinking through what support would be available to you if you decided to parent, as well as the child care available in your area.

I would also think through your feelings about ending the pregnancy, to be clear that you are not going to end up feeling guilt and regret.

Other similar/related stories…

A medical abortion that will scar me for life.

Previous

Medical abortion - wasn't that bad!!

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or have been affected by similar issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be difficult but can be very rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →