After the termination I felt better but now feel really bad
On the 19th of March 2008, I had an abortion. I am 37 years old. I had a miscarriage in September 2007.
In January 2008, I found out I was pregnant. This was a planned pregnancy. In the early stages of pregnancy, I was bleeding so I had a scan at 5 weeks. The baby was fine, but when they told me that the baby was fine, I did not feel any joy or happiness.
The next day I felt really depressed and low. The morning sickness was getting worse. The depression got worse and I started hating the baby. I was ashamed of being pregnant. I could not stand the sight of babies or pregnant woman. I could not look after my two children. I did not want to see them or my husband.
I had to make a choice. Everyone was suffering. I felt better after the termination, but now I am feeling sad and guilty. I WISH I HAD KEPT THE BABY. I felt like I killed the baby. No one offered any counselling. I really feel bad.