I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant. I hadn’t been with my boyfriend long and was having unprotected sex, thinking that it would never happen to me.

I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant. I hadn’t been with my boyfriend long and was having unprotected sex, thinking that it would never happen to me. I only told my best friend that I was pregnant; I was too scared to tell my parents as I knew they would be disappointed. I didn’t want to let them down although I had made the decision to continue with my pregnancy. Weeks went by and I began to put on weight and felt awful. Every time I tried to tell my mum and dad, something came up and I couldn’t go through with it. I had made an appointment to see the doctor and went along with my best friend. The doctor was not helpful and made me feel that I was bad and making the wrong decision. She told me that I would not cope being a mum and so she went ahead and booked me an appointment to have a termination. Being only 16, young and immature, I listened to the doctor and did as she said. She was older, a doctor, a figure of authority, so I felt I had to do as I was told. I went for my termination on 16th January 2002. I travelled by train all the way to Bournemouth with only my best friend. I still hadn’t told my parents yet I desperately needed and wanted my mum with me. My termination was awful; I was left on my own for hours. Lying on a bed waiting to be put to sleep, I was shaking. I woke up from the operation in tears, sobbing. I knew it had been the wrong decision and I wished I never listened to the doctor. For weeks after my termination, I was still sore and bruised. I had told my parents that I had fallen down the stairs and hurt myself. Little did they know that I had had an abortion. It finally came out when my mum found details of the abortion clinic in my room. I was relieved that they knew as a weight had been lifted but it opened up a lot of wounds. For a year after my abortion, I got more and more depressed. I hated myself, so to try to numb the pain I drank and slept with anyone. I wanted to feel loved as I hated myself so much. Eventually I couldn’t take anymore. I was emotionally battered, I hit rock-bottom. I went to the Basingstoke Pregnancy Crisis Centre to get help. There I wasn’t judged or frowned upon like the doctor had done. I was able to talk and share my feelings. I worked through a lot of different emotions and slowly felt myself getting stronger and stronger each week. It took a long time to feel 'normal' again but after weeks of talking and dealing with the trauma, I was able to explore and come to terms with my heart-breaking decision. I am now 23 and have a daughter who will be 3 soon. It still hurts sometimes and I will never forget what I went through and the pain it caused but today, thanks to the crisis centre's support, I can say that I am able to deal with and cope with what happened and now I am ok.
This story was sent in on 12/11/2008 and it's been viewed 1,316 times.

Other similar/related stories…

I am 18 years old and I had a medical abortion one week ago today. Here is my story.

Previous

I had a medical abortion at 8 weeks just over five months ago. This decision came to be a very big mistake and I have regretted everyday since.

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or are being affected by similar issues from your past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be very difficult but rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →