I never thought I would read a story so similar. I was just about to start university when I found out I was pregnant.

I never thought I would read a story so similar. I was just about to start university when I found out I was pregnant. When I first found out, all I could think was, ‘It’s not true, this can't be happening to me’. I’m going to university and I will have a baby when I’m finished and feel ready. After telling my partner, he didn't seem to say much. We went to the appointments together when I opted for a medical termination, but when it got to the day I changed my mind and wanted to keep the baby. All I wanted was a bit of reassurance that it was okay to keep the baby and I would be able to cope, but my partner went to work instead of supporting me in one of the hardest decisions of my life. I went to his work after a night of crying and changing my mind but he said he didn’t want the baby and just went back to work, so I went through with the termination on my own, and now I just regret so much not having the baby. After all it’s mine and I know deep down I could have done it, but now it’s left me wondering what the two years of this relationship has been for. If he loves me, then why couldn't he support me in that time of need? What hurts me so much is that he already has a child and goes on like nothing has even happened. Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your story with us…You obviously had a huge shock when you found out you were pregnant, and felt the pressure of your circumstances weighing heavily on you. It sounds as if something much deeper than your response to your circumstances was surfacing when you changed your mind. All you wanted was permission from your partner, wasn’t it, but when that wasn’t forthcoming, you felt you had no option. Going through with the termination has created a huge doubt in your mind about the quality of your relationship, so you are feeling loss on two levels – your baby and what you thought your relationship was. It seems your heart is in pain and needs some loving care and attention right now. Contact your nearest centre for some support, or ring the helpline or use Online Advisor to talk it through with someone who understands.
This story was sent in on 29/01/2009 and it's been viewed 989 times.

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