I'm 18. I'm not sure I could cope with a baby right now

I'm 18 years old and last week I found out that I'm pregnant.

It was unexpected and came as quite a shock.

I'm nowhere near ready for a child and neither is my boyfriend. So after talking with my partner, my parents and my GP, I decided that having an abortion would be the best option for me.

I feel a bit selfish for my decision and it upsets me a lot. However I feel it would be unfair to bring a baby into my life just now when I’m not ready and not sure I could cope.

My Doctor was extremely nice and arranged an appointment for me at the hospital, for the next week.

On my first visit they told me I was 6 weeks

On my first visit to the hospital I got my scan, where I was told I’m six weeks pregnant. I also had blood taken and an internal check, which wasn't very pleasant. I arranged to return to the hospital two days later to receive the first pill (which was swallowed) - the start of my medical abortion.

I was told that when I return for my second treatment (four pills placed in the vagina, and one pill inserted in the bottom) that I was to expect cramps, (a little worse than period pains) and perhaps sickness.

I will be kept in the hospital for up to seven hours, or until I pass "the products" which is the term the nurse used, unless I bleed unusually heavily, in which case I could be kept in over-night.

It's happening tomorrow and I'm terrified

Having read some of the experiences women have written, I can honestly say I'm terrified.

Although the doctor has told me they have a list of pain relief ready for me, I’m still afraid of how bad it's going to be. Although there has been a few stories of women’s experiences that have been very successful and not as horrific as some of the things I’ve read, I’m trying to prepare myself for the worst.

Hopefully the procedure won't be too painful and everything will be okay.

This is all happening tomorrow morning, hopefully I’ll be able to write again and share my experience too.

Editor’s note:

Thanks for writing in…

Obviously you are quite apprehensive about what might happen.

Information helps to allay fears and you should ask questions of the medical staff if you want to know more about what it will be like.

It’s important that you are informed about the physical and emotional effects, so that you consent to something you understand properly and can feel 100% that it is what you want to do. Your doubts or fears can also be talked through at a centre in your area.

This story was sent in on 02/03/2009 and it's been viewed 2,381 times.

Other similar/related stories…

I had an abortion when I was 20 weeks.

Previous

I'm irritated by clinics downplaying medical abortion side effects

I found the entire experience extremely traumatic…

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or are being affected by similar issues from your past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be very difficult but rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →