I'm 19 and I had an abortion in June, I was 13 weeks pregnant.

I'm 19 and I had an abortion in June, I was 13 weeks pregnant. I had only been seeing the father of the unborn child for a month, and when I found out I was pregnant I was confused and scared. With my pregnancy I was really sick, I couldn't keep any food down and couldn't attend school or work as I had no energy. I told my boyfriend about the pregnancy and he was so supportive. It made me really proud and happy, as he reacted in the way you would dream of someone reacting. Everything was fine and we decided we would get through the pregnancy. I hadn't at this stage told my mum as she is very judgemental and I was finding it difficult to tell her as I knew she gets stressed out and hurt very easily. But with me being so sick and constantly throwing up, one day my mum asked me was there any chance I could be pregnant. I broke down and admitted it, she begun to cry. As a family, I knew we struggled financially, and as there are 7 in my family, I knew it would put a lot of stress on them to have a baby. After a long and hard talk with my family, I decided that I would have an abortion. My boyfriend was heartbroken but still remained supportive. I wanted to go to uni and decided it was the best way, but nearly 5 months on since the abortion, I think about it every day, filled with regret and hurt. I wish I hadn't done it. Everytime i see a baby I just think that it could have been mine. I'm so hurt and heartbroken. I just want to recomend that if your in my situation please think hard and do realise that you will regret it and you can't put it behind you as easy as you think. Editor's note: Thank you for sharing your story with us. It must have taken a lot of courage to speak out about your experience. It sound like you are going through an incredibly difficult and painful time. It must be very difficult to have so many hurts and regrets after having the abortion, wishing you had acted differently. I'm so sorry that you felt pressurised into a decision because of financial circumstances. It sounds like your family is very important to you, and what they thought you should do really affected you. At the moment, you need someone really supportive, to help you walk through all the feelings and emotions, regrets and hurts that you are holding onto. I think it would really help you to contact a trained advisor, and get some post-abortion support. Please ring the national helpline on 0300 4000 999, contact online advisor, or look up your nearest centre on the website. Our advisors are experienced and will be able to help you.
This story was sent in on 12/11/2009 and it's been viewed 1,027 times.

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