I had conscious sedation, but I was fully aware of everything that was going on.

When I discovered that I was pregnant I honestly already knew. I hadn't been sexually active for two years but I was getting closer to my best friend and developing feelings for him. We ended up sleeping together, the condom broke and emergency contraception failed, it was just my luck really as I was slap bang in the middle of my cycle. I waited until after Christmas to take a home pregnancy test and I wasn't at all surprised by the results. But I knew what I had to do. I already have a child who is 10 years old and I'm not with the father. I raised my child alone and I didn't intend to put myself or my child through any further hardship. You see I have been working hard over the past few years trying to get into my chosen career and things are finally looking like they are coming together. My reasons may seem selfish but I had to think about the child that I have as well as myself. My 'friend' said that he would support me and the child, but we were not TOGETHER and I don't see how two people can start off a relationship by having a child. Although his intentions were sincere and honorable, a lot can happen in 9 months and ultimately I would be left holding the baby. So I had my procedure yesterday and I suppose under the circumstances it went well. I had conscious sedation, but I was fully aware of everything that was going on. It wasn't painful, it just felt like I was having a smear done but I could hear the suction. I was nervous about the proceedure before hand as I am a baby when it comes to needles, but it really wasn't that bad. After the procedure I actually felt quite relieved, the only thing that seems to be bothering me is my relationship with my 'friend'. He really wanted me to keep it but I couldn't keep it for him. It had to be my decision as I may have ended up resenting him for it, but now it looks like he is resenting me. Every situation is different, but I would say this: make sure that you are 100% sure about what you are doing and your reasons for doing so, because I believe that will make things slightly easier afterwards. But like I said everyone is different. I feel that I made the right choice and I will continue to be the best mother I can to the child I have, and work towards our future to make sure that I will never regret my decision....I hope! Editor's Comment:- Being a single Mum is hard work and a lot of responsibility, so I am sure you have had a challenging few years with your present child. After 2 contraceptive failures you seemed to be very sure about your decision. It sounds as though your friend was hoping the relationship would work, and perhaps he was disappointed that your decision did not give him the chance to support you. I hope too that you don't have regrets, and that you are able to pursue your career.
This story was sent in on 26/01/2010 and it's been viewed 1,119 times.

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