I had a medical and surgical termination earlier this year.

I had a termination (medical and then surgical) earlier this year. I discovered that I was pregnant within less than a week of my period being late. I tested, it was positive, and was overwhelmed by manic feelings - I couldn't concentrate on any one thing. I couldn't form clear views on anything, but I definitely knew that I didn't want to have a baby.

He really wanted another baby

I am in a loving relationship with my husband and we have one child who we adore, but I didn't feel settled or willing to add to my family at that time. My husband felt differently - he really wanted another baby and was ecstatic at the news, even though ideally he would have liked it to have come a year later. It was dreadfully upsetting, and each of us hurt so much, but I knew that I just couldn't have a baby at that time - not even for my husband who I love very much.

A medical termination at 7 weeks

I didn't want the termination to appear on my medical notes, so I paid privately to go to a clinic for a medical termination at 7 weeks and a few days. The dating scan confirmed the pregnancy and my dates. I took 2 tablets that day at the clinic, and felt absolutely fine - no side effects at all. I went the next day for the second lot of 2 tablets with my husband (he didn't come into the treatment room with me - he stayed in the waiting room) and took the tablets and left the clinic and took the train home (30 minute journey) with my husband.
During the journey, severe cramping started, and I vomited a lot. I got off the train and could barely walk from the station to my house, and its only a 5 minute walk. At home, the cramping lasted about 4 hours, although I wasn't sick again. The bleeding started after that. I contacted the clinic again by telephone 2 weeks later as the bleeding was getting much heavier rather than reducing. I was passing lots and lots of bigger and bigger clots and needed to change sanitary towels far more frequently than they told me to anticipate.

The medical termination had not completely worked

I had quite a few conversations with the nurses, and after pushing for it, I was given an appointment at the clinic for the following day. At that appointment, I had another scan and it was confirmed that the medical termination had not completely worked. Rather than repeat the medical termination (which I was not keen on after the sever cramping the last time), it was recommended that I have a surgical termination.
From then it all happened very quickly, and was very bewildering for me. I hadn't realised that the room I was being taken to was the room in which the surgical procedure would be carried out. I thought I was going into the room to talk to a doctor or another nurse. I panicked when I saw the equipment and area that was going to be used, and I think this was because I wasn't expecting the procedure to be carried out right then - I had thought that that would be the step after this.
I couldn't speak and couldn't articulate my feelings at all. Unfortunately, I started hyperventilating and panicking. The actual termination procedure itself was quick and I had light sedation intravenously - it was maybe about 2 minutes, though it was noisy and for me, even more traumatic because I didn't feel that I was fully prepared for it.

It was a very upsetting and bewildering experience.

After the procedure, I was walked to an area with comfortable chairs which you could stretch your legs out on, given a cup of tea and a biscuit and a hot cushion to hold on my tummy. I was very teary and still traumatised.
I stayed there for 30 minutes or so and the nurses then gave me antibiotics to take home. I had some light bleeding after the procedure, but not much. I felt bruised and sore, but I took paracetemol and ibuprofen and managed ok on that for a couple of days. I have tried to move on, and my husband and I haven't really talked about it as I find it too upsetting.

Editor's Comment

This is always a difficult experience when one of you feels strongly about the decision and the other feels the opposite. It is always going to mbe a hard thing to reconcile in a relationship. Added to this your experience of a failed medical abortion and having to then have a surgical abortion makes this a very traumatic experience and one that you were obviously not adequately prepared for. I think it will talke you some time to come to terms with this and I think both of you would be helped by sitting down with someone and saying how you feel about it and how it has affected you. Please contact the national helpline 0300 4000 999 to find out how yoiu can acces this help, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

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