Just over 2 years ago I found out I was 13 and pregnant.

I have never officially been able to tell anyone this story without crying, but I am writing this smiling even if there are tears dripping down my face. Just under 2 years ago today I could have been having my first child at the age of 13 nearly 14, just over 2 years ago I found out I was 13 and pregnant. Back to the day I found out it was shock, my boyfriend was staying with me at the time cos he had been kicked out of home and being with him since I had turned 12 and I was nearly 14 I couldn't have seen him suffer. My mum had agreed for him to stay till he was re-homed. I was laying in bed with my boyfriend, had already missed my period and I decided to do a test with him. It come up positive. I was not at all ready to tell my mum I was having this boy's child seeing as at the time he was violent towards me and I was SO young. I waited till I was at school one day and I text her saying "Mum I think I am pregnant".. She later on told me we will do a test and not to worry, everything will be alright! I couldn't have been happier that she was so supportive. I went to doctor's appointments and bpas appointments later on and just waited for the day I was going to get MY own flesh and blood terminated. This really wasn't the best time for me. I remember lying in a bed at an abortion centre, and being so far on I had to have the Suction. I layed there crying while they put a needle in my hand, my mum still telling me everything was going to be alright. I lay there for about 45 minutes until they took me into the next room to put me to sleep with fluids through the needle they had put in my hand. At this point I was crying saying "please don't, I don't want to do this," but nobody seemed to care what I was saying, everyone ignored me and just carried on with what they were doing! By this time I was already separated from my mum and I really didn't want to go through with this. About an hour and 15 minutes later I woke up to a doctor saying "there will be a lot of bleeding, it's normal" - NORMAL?! I couldn't stand myself after this, I went days with not leaving my house and I couldn't see anyone. At the time of the abortion me and my boyfriend were no longer together and I pretty much had to go on with it on my own. He went a separate way and I went mine. I later on realised that I didn't want to live without him. I started speaking to him again and about 3 months ago we got back together with a complete change. We sacrificed a lot for each other seeing as our parents and families could have gone mad that we got back together. We later on told them. Now yet again an unplanned mistake has happened and I am 2 months pregnant with this boy's baby again, and I am going to bring up this child with courage independently and I hope people will support me down the line, if not, to be honest, you can forget it because I can't deal with haters at the moment with everything else going on.

Editor's Comment

The abortion you had must have been very upsetting for you, and that has made you very determined to keep this baby. I am sure you will need support and I do hope that you will get this from your family and friends. Please let us know if we can support you in any way. There are a number of pregnancy centres around the country that can offer this help, or if you feel you need to talk through the abortion experience you had there rae also post abortion counsellors available.

This story was sent in on 24/03/2013

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