No one had the foggiest I was pregnant, let alone having an abortion

I had a medical abortion yesterday at 7+2 weeks. To be honest, prior to going in for the procedure, I was absolutely terrified, especially as no one apart from me even had the foggiest that I was pregnant, let alone having an abortion.

I'd had the first tablet 2 days ago, and despite a few small bouts of nausea and the odd 1 or 2 cramps, I felt ok...

Then yesterday, I went in for the actual procedure. I arrived at 7.30am and was shown to my bed by a nurse, I was told to change into pyjamas and attach a sanitary towel to my knickers and get comfy.

At 8am a nurse called me into a treatment room where she took my blood pressure and explained to me exactly what was going to happen to me throughout the day.

I was instructed to go back to my bed, take my trousers and knickers off and lay in bed...

At 8.30am the nurse came back, she put a painkiller in my bottom and 4 pessaries in my vagina.

I was told to stay in bed for an hour, after which I could get up and move around if I wanted.

After about 45 mins the cramps started, it did feel like very bad period pains, and carried on for the next 2-3 hours at varying levels of severity. The nurse then came to see if I was ok, and gave me 2 co-codamols to ease the cramps.

I started bleeding around 11 o'clock, nothing too heavy but there'd be blood and clots each time I went for a wee, I had to pass everything into a bedpan and then a nurse would come and collect it to examine whether or not I'd passed the pregnancy.

By 2.30pm, I'd been in hospital for 7 hours and still hadn't passed the pregnancy, I was beginning to get really frustrated and panicky, although I spoke to one of the support workers and she reassured me that in half an hour, I'd have a review and it may be that the pregnancy sac is just sitting up against my cervix in which case, they could pull it out with some forceps...

Finally at 3pm, the nurse came to get me for my review, she confirmed that she could see the pregnancy sac, she asked me to push and then she pulled it out with some forceps. This, was the most uncomfortable experience of the day for me..

I was then given permission to go home at 3.30pm.

Quite honestly, it was painful but not unbearable and the nurses made the whole experience so much easier.

Today, I feel much better already, I'm bleeding like a heavy period and my insides feel sore (from all the cramping I assume) but I'm at work, and actually feel hungry again! For the first time in weeks!

I don't regret my decision, but regret the fact that right now, my life isn't in a place where I'd be able to give my child the life it deserves.. I've promised myself that this has not been in vain and that I'm going to dedicate myself to making sure I get to where I want to be in life so that next time I fall pregnant, I'm worthy of becoming a mother.

Don't let people make you feel bad, only YOU know what's best for YOU!

This story was sent in on 18/11/2011 and it's been viewed 1,147 times.

Editor's comment

Thanks for describing your early medical abortion.

Sometimes that feeling of secrecy is really hard to live with and you can feel alone and isolated. I would always recommend seeing someone for pregnancy support so that you have talked it through and had the opportunity to ask questions, get all the information.

You sound as though you feel you need to work for the right to be a mother when you said you wanted to make sure you are 'worthy of becoming a mother'. If you need to talk this through with someone please contact a centre for post-abortion support in your area.

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