I had a medical abortion which lead to emergency surgical intervention 6 days after

I had a medical abortion which lead to emergency surgical intervention 6 days after. I have posted before but I wanted to post again as I have days like today when I struggle with our decision.
Even though I don't think about my little egg every day I have days when I do.

I feel enormous guilt

A lot of my friends are either struggling to conceive and others have had a miscarriage.
I feel blessed to have 2 children with no problems, and even though it was the right decision for my family I will always feel guilt and sadness about it. I know it was only a collection of cells but in my heart she was a little person waiting to be born and I stopped that.
I lit a candle in a cathedral 2 months after and said goodbye to my baby properly and felt I had left her in the care of the church. I am convinced it would have been a little girl and she even has a name.
I think this post is just to say I will never forget her and she was loved, she just came at a bad time, I hope she can forgive me.

Editor's Comment

Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings as they progress helps to process some of these difficult emotions. You have been going through a grieving process and this has been part of it for you. Thank you for sharing your journey.

This story was sent in on 19/06/2012

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