I had a medical abortion 2 years ago
I found out at around 4-5 weeks that I was pregnant and for a moment I was happy and then I realized that it couldn't be. I told my mother (we were living with her at the time) and my boyfriend within minutes. The next day I had my mom call to make an appointment with my doctors. They did a vaginal exam and ultrasound to determine what stage I was at. I asked to see the monitor (which was turned away from me) and after a moment of surprise she complied and I saw my peanut.
Directly after I saw another doctor who informed me of what would happen and my choices and gave me an oral tablet to take. That night I experienced some bleeding.
The morning after I came back in with my sister, mother and boyfriend and was given four tablets to insert as close to my cervix as possible. I went into the bathroom alone and did so, I warn to maybe have someone with you when you do this because it brings up a lot of emotions, it did for me anyways specially since I had to insert them one by one.
This was at around 7.30 in the morning. I was given a room with a bed since I have low blood pressure and fainting problems. They gave me a few oral pain relievers as well.
Around an hour after I started to feel some strong period pains and I was given an electric blanket to put on my back to relieve the pain. This pain increased for the next hour or two probably since I wasn't bleeding much at all so my uterus had to tighten a lot. I got to a point were they had to give me a shot of morphine. That lessened the pain almost immediately. At around 1 in the afternoon I was allowed to go home.
There was some pain the next day as well but no more than my normal period pain and my pregnancy symptoms stopped. I bled around 2 weeks after and my period came back within the month.
I was very emotionally raw and sad afterwards and it took me months to get a bit close to my normal self.
However to this day there are times when I cry for my loss even though it was my decision it feels like a loss. I feel like I am a mom without her kid and imagine him running around and laughing. I have an intense need to have a family and even though I know deep down that I made the right decision every time I think of that need I think of my peanut and what could have been.