I'm 16 years old and I was 6 months pregnant with my babygirl.

By anonymous on 07/12/2013
I'm 16 years old and I was 6 months pregnant with my babygirl. I found out June 12 I was pregnant with her and I instantly told her daddy. He was so scared because he already has a son who wasn't even one year old yet, but he stayed by my side.
Every morning he would roll over kiss my stomach and say ,"hey babygirl. You and Mommy going to have a good day today." He loved his daughter he would always say she would be as beautiful as me. We were going to keep her, love her, protect her, raise her, and be there for her. I love every moment you were inside my tummy. The first time you moved, kicked me, first time I heard your little heartbeat, and from the moment they told me you were a girl. Me and your Daddy were going to name you Nyla.

We loved you and we miss you so much.

One day we realized that we were being selfish. I wanted my daughter to have the best life she could ever have and more. That's something we couldn't do because we were both 16.
On November 3,2013 I went in for my consultation and on November 7,2013 my daughter was gone. Afterwards I felt empty. My stomach felt like something was missing that big round hard belly was now flat and squishy.
I cried every morning, evening, and night. Having my boyfriend around helped. Everytime I look into his eyes I see our daughter's face. I sit and imagine what her smile would look like, her laugh, seeing her walk for the first time, or even hearing her say Mama and Dada.
I hated myself for killing my baby I felt so alone cause I never knew I could feel that type of love for someone I never even met. But I know my baby is in heaven looking over me and her daddy. One day I'll have a baby and I will do everything in my power to give my future child everything I couldn't give my daughter. She is my motivation to keep moving forward.

Editor's Comment

A very difficult decision to choose abortion at 6 months. It sounds as though you had bonded with your baby, and I am sure you will feel an enormous sense of grief and loss. It probably feels very raw and painful at the moment but in time it would be helpful to have some post abortion support to try and work through some of the emotions you are feeling. You can call the national helpline, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

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