I'm 19 years old and got pregnant.
I have always been the mature responsible type but when I got in a relationship that changed. My boyfriend of almost two years now had me with my guard down in every way imaginable. Pretty much meaning that I felt so free and comfortable with him I had no fears whatsoever or worries.
Of course when we first started having sex we took all the precautions so I wouldn't get pregnant. I was on birth control and we used condoms. I had some problems with condoms and the pill, and after a while we were having sex with NO protection EVER.
My boyfriend would just pull out. We got so lazy and comfortable.Thinking about it now I see how stupid we were for this and I'm not surprised that I got pregnant. In fact we had been lucky it got to the point where I thought I just couldn't have babies. There were times where I was sure I was bound to get pregnant and I just didn't. I really thought I was unable to get pregnant.
I even convinced my boyfriend of this.
That was until that day I went to my gyno. My visit wasn't even intended to find out if I was pregnant although I was late I thought it was normal because I had been late before due to my birth control making my period irregular. **I was in utter shock when the nurse told me the test was positive.** I was so used to getting lucky and having negative tests. I realized then that my sudden increase in appetite, slight cramps, very tender breasts and fatigue all came from my pregnancy.
I started crying and thinking about how disappointed my mom would be and how much my family would criticize me. My gyno met with me after my examination down there and confirmed I really was pregnant she even made me feel hopeful about the pregnancy and at the time I decided I was going to keep it. It made sense to me.
I was going to have a baby with someone who loved me and I loved so very muchI always wanted to be a mom and on occasions my boyfriend and I would joke around about having a baby and how cute it would be. That was until it actually happened and became a reality. All these thoughts in my head and my doctor was giving me the date I was due and everything.
My boyfriend is 11 months younger than me. Currently he isn't employed and the money I make barely covers my normal bills. We both still live at home. I was just about to start school to be a teacher and my bf was in school as well. There were so many things that were negative about having the baby. Even though deep inside we both really wanted the baby it just wasn't the right time so we decided to get an abortion. I called my gyno first and they gave me the number to a doctor that performed abortions because my gyno didn't. I was shocked when they told me how much the abortion would be. I refused to use my dad's insurance afraid he would find out. I then called planned parenthood where they had much more reasonable prices. I scheduled my appointment the same week I called. I would be going in on Saturday. The abortion would cost around $450. My boyfriend and I decided to go half on the costs considering his financial status at the time and because it's really both of our responsibility to take care of this.
We promise each other not to mention this to anyone. I didn't want anyone judging me but it was so hard to keep this from not only my mom but my best friends. My mom and I are close but I knew how much it would hurt her. I feared she would change with me and never trust me again. She would be so disappointed. My boyfriend wouldn't tell his mom either as she would be stressed by the pregnancy.
We both knew that keeping it a secret would make it easier to forget it and act like it never happened.Anyway the day of my appointment I wore comfy clothes as told by the nurse. I was surprisingly calm at first but then when I got to planned parenthood my nerves started getting the best of me. My boyfriend of course accompanied me. We checked in rather early and we waited for a while. That was where my mind started spinning and I started feeling like I couldn't breathe. I wanted to just leave actually but I knew that that would be very stupid of me. Waiting for so long really makes you think.
There was so many girls there and you just have to wonder if they're all here for the same reason. One girl even started tearing up. I even teared up. It seemed like centuries until they finally called my name. I was called back to first to pay for my procedure. After that I was told to urinate in a cup then I had to wait some more before my ultrasound. After several minutes I'm called for my ultrasound. The nurse tells me to remove my bottoms and then asked me a series of questions. Like if I wanted to see the ultrasound and if it was twins should she let me know. I said no thinking that would only get me attached to the baby. The ultrasound is done vaginally and since I just relaxed it didn't hurt.
She informed me that I was only 5 weeks and the baby wasn't even a baby yet it was a sack. After that I waited some more then was taken to what they called the lab for a blood test. The lab was over and then I was to wait before I went to counselling as they call it. This was the only thing my boyfriend was allowed to go to. I was called and we both went. Counselling isn't exactly counselling. In fact I was a bit disappointed with that part because I thought it was going to be different. You are asked if you're sure about your decision and then you're given more info on the procedure you are getting, you sign some papers, and that's it. In my opinion I thought it was going to be a bit different. After counselling I wait once again to be seen by the doctor to be able to take the day one pill. That felt like it took a whole other hour.
When I'm finally called I go in by myself and that process went by pretty quick. I was given a medicine for infections and then I saw the doctor. He explained to me that I really didn't need to even get the prescription they give for pain and nausea since I was only 5 weeks. He asked me if I wished to take the pill I nodded yes and that was it. I was finally finished. The process just to get the procedure done is very long. Expect to spend 3-4 hours there. After leaving the hospital my boyfriend drove as I was feeling dizzy. I experienced slight cramping during the first day but nothing major. In fact I felt quite normal.
The first day I kind of felt regret thinking about what our baby would have looked like.I had a feeling it would have been a boy. My curiosity brought these feelings along. I don't feel like I made the wrong choice. I just feel curious is all. The second day of my abortion was on a Sunday thankfully. I ate a big breakfast(that wasn't smart of me) and then I took my ibuprofen at 12:30 as told by the nurse and then the pill at 1. I skipped the medicine for vomiting and nausea remembering what the doctor told me. Bad idea! I wasn't even 5 minutes into the abortion pill and I was having terrible pains! I could feel myself about to throw up but I kept trying to hold it in. I ran straight to the toilet where I immediately started having diarrhoea.
The pains were horrible! Absolutely terrible!!! 24 minutes in I threw up I couldn't hold it in any longer. I just threw up right there on the floor. I was just on the toilet shaking badly in pain. My boyfriend kept coming into the bathroom to check up on me but it was best I was alone because I couldn't even talk. I could feel the pain calm down as I just sat on the toilet in the bathroom full of vomit. After a while I was finally able to get up and clean myself up. Afraid that the pill wouldn't work since I threw up before the 30 minutes I called the emergency hotline. Unfortunately for me I was told I had to do everything ALL OVER AGAIN! At first I was angry but then I just put my anger aside and followed the steps fully this time.
Before dealing with the pills the second time I passed a blood clot. The clot was pretty huge and it felt strange come out of me. I got 4 more abortion pills and repeated the process. I experienced slight cramps this time and I bled pretty normal. Hours passed and I basically fell asleep. The second time around was so painless that I felt like the first time must have worked. The rest of the day/ night went smoothly. I was sleepy most of the time and was sleeping for most of it.
The next day I stayed home from work. I wasn't planning on it but the medicine really had me feeling dizzy and just out of it. My bleeding stopped a few days before my follow up appointment. The day of my appointment I was a little nervous because I would get confirmation that the abortion was successful. Thankfully everything went smoothly.
I'm just glad that it's all over! I promised myself and my boyfriend to NEVER be so stupid again and to never have sex without protection. I don't regret my abortion at all. It actually feels like it never happened. I do think about the what it's from time to time but I know I made the right choice.