I had a suction abortion

I had a daughter in 2008 then a son in 2010, and found out I was pregnant five months later. It tore me in bits to think I was so stupid to get pregnant again but there was no way me and my partner could have another child financially etc.
I booked the abortion and on the day I had a suction abortion but insisted I had no pain relief as I felt I should feel the pain! I regret everyday what I did, not the abortion but how irresponsible I was by having unprotected sex with my partner! I know I made the right decision but that doesn't make it any easier!
Three years later I have learnt that I will never get over my baby, but I made the right decision not only for me, my partner and the kids we had already, but for the baby we never had. Guilt is always something people who chose to have abortions will live with but always remember that if you do go through with it it should be your first and last time! After my abortion my partner booked himself in for a vasectomy. Abortion is painful physically and emotionally not to be used as a way of contraception.

Editor's Comment

Thanks for sharing your story. It was a hard lesson for you, and very final that your partner had a vasectomy.

This story was sent in on 09/03/2014

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I think a letter I wrote to the baby I terminated the life of best explains my feelings.

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