I was excited to see we had finally conceived

I'm 22 years old already have a 5 year old daughter by my first boyfriend and now roughly 5 weeks.. with my first boyfriend. It became an abusive relationship out of nowhere and got so bad he left me in the hospital where I learned I was pregnant again with twins. I then made the decision to leave him because he kept pressuring me to abort. So I did. I aborted the twins I always wanted and left him for good.

I went through a deep depression I still struggle with today. Three years later(now)I'm in relationship I see spiraling down the same path. I took a home pregnancy test and I was excited to see we had finally conceived, he has always told me he wanted a baby as well but when we went to the doctor's the same day, his whole mood and attitude changed. He pushed me, choked me but said he was sorry, and would never do it again. Two days later (today) the same thing happened. We've only been together roughly a year. Live together, and financially barely making ends meat. He keeps saying he wants the baby and wants to make it work but I don't want to end up a single mother of two children with two different fathers. He's 22 as well and this will be his first child. I need some voice of opinion. It killed me letting my children go. Please help. Someone. I'm filled with sadness and fear of losing this child as well. I don't know what to do anymore

Editor's Comment

Something about the pregnancy must be triggering this reaction in your boyfriend and he may not be aware of the trigger himself. It could be unconscious feelings of jealousy, or losing your sole attention, or maybe something that has happened to him from the past.
If you are going to stand a chance of making this work together, I think your boyfriend will need some help to unearth what is happening for him in this new situation. The question is: will he be prepared to get some help particularly as it may be painful emotionally for him? If you would like some more help and support please call the national helpline 0300 4000 999 or log into Online advisor so that we can try and see what help is available in your area.

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