I already have a baby who is living with my mother

I already have a baby who is living with my mother and I found out I was pregnant with my current boyfriend...we've known each other as friends for a year but only recently started dating!
He wanted the baby and I selfishly decided I wanted to abort the foetus before it developed. He doesn't know but I aborted at 7 weeks!
I have been riddled with guilt because I told him I miscarried and all our family and friends around us to make the lie believable!
He is so amazing and loves me and is extremely supportive. I'm torn between losing the man I'm falling in love with and my guilt. I booked a d/c and he was there from the minute I was admitted...for my post check up he luckily wasn't there and the obstetrician told me the chances of me having another baby don't look to great. I feel that I'm being punished for the web of lies and actions I took. If I had known I would have chose other alternatives.

Editor's Comment

It is very hard to keep a secret like this from someone you are close to. As you say it often involves more and more deception to keep the secret, and you may feel very isolated carrying such a burden of secrecy. It is also hard after the event to be told that you may have problems conceiving in the future. If you would like to talk this through with a pregnancy practitioner, it may help you to unburden yourself confidentially. Please call the national helpline or follow the link for for post abortion support.
This story was sent in on 09/09/2014

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