At 12 weeks 2 days, I went in for my vacuum aspiration abortion under general anaesthetic

I fell pregnant at 15 and had found out when I had turned 16.

I had taken a test and it came back negative before my 16th birthday. I knew something wasn't right because I had missed a period. I then took another test two weeks later which came back positive 3-4 weeks. I was heartbroken. I had only been with my boyfriend for a few months and I felt disgusting as I was so young and pregnant.

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My boyfriend is 18 and lost a baby to a miscarriage in his previous relationship so I never expected to have an abortion. Honestly deep down I was so scared, I had just started college and I was excited to go to Uni and get a job and an apartment. I put off 3 of my consultations for my abortion after me and my boyfriend had decided to go private.

At 10 weeks I went for my consultation where I had my first scan. I was given the option to look but I chose not to, my boyfriend, on the other hand, stood at the end of the bed holding my leg looking at our little one.

At 12 weeks 2 days, I went in for my vacuum aspiration abortion under general anaesthetic. I came out and I was rushed out of the clinic and sent home in pain and distressed.

I have spent months blaming my boyfriend or blaming myself. I have been to counsellors and anger management as my temperament changed massively. I withdrew myself and lost all my friends and the only person I had was my boyfriend.

I still get extremely teary and depressed about the issue. I feel like I was a mother but now I am just simply a mother to a dead baby. I will never look back and be ashamed of myself though, it was what was right for me at the time and at 16 years old I did it on my own (no family etc) with the help of one or two friends.

Terms mentioned in this story

  1. Vacuum aspiration abortion

    Vacuum aspiration abortion is a procedure used to terminate pregnancies, usually in the first trimester of the pregnancy. The process involves the use of a manual or electrical pump to create suction which removes the contents of the uterus.

    Sources (open in a new tab/window):

This story was sent in on 12/05/2015

Editor's comment

A difficult experience to go through without any family support. I can understand that you felt you were too young to have a baby and afraid of missing out on all the things you had dreamt of doing. Even when you feel it is the right decision it is often hard to switch off your emotions and stop yourself from thinking about what might have been.

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