The test was negative but I knew something wasn't right because I'd missed a period

I fell pregnant at 15 and found out when I had just turned 16. I had taken a test that came back negative before my 16th birthday but I knew something wasn't right because I had missed a period.

I then took another test two weeks later which came back positive 3-4 weeks. I was heartbroken. I had only been with my boyfriend a few months and I felt disgusted that I was so young and pregnant.

My boyfriend is 18 and lost a baby to a miscarriage in his previous relationship so I never expected to have an abortion. Honestly deep down I was so scared, I had just started college and I was excited to go to Uni and get a job and an apartment.

I put off 3 of my consultations for my abortion after me and my boyfriend had decided to go private.

At 10 weeks I went for my consultation where I had my first scan. I was given the option to look but I chose not to, my boyfriend, on the other hand, stood at the end of the bed holding my leg looking at our little one.

At 12 weeks 2 days, I went in for my vacuum aspiration abortion under general anaesthetic. I came out and I was rushed out of the clinic and sent home in pain and distressed.

I have spent months blaming my boyfriend or blaming myself. I have been to counsellors and anger management as my temperament changed massively. I withdrew myself and lost all my friends and the only person I had was my boyfriend.

I still get extremely teary and depressed about the issue. I feel like I was a mother but now I am just simply a mother to a dead baby. I will never look back and be ashamed of myself though, it was what was right for me at the time and at 16 years old I did it on my own (no family etc) with the help of one or two friends.

This story was sent in on 12/05/2015

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