The disgrace it would bring my family is hurting so much but I'm religious and worry God won't forgive an abortion

I'm 25 and have just found out I'm pregnant - Clear Blue says 3 weeks but the doctors will say 5 because of my last period.

I'm single and slept with a guy I've known for years, one of my brothers best friends and business partner. After finding out my father was terminally ill with cancer and breaking up with my ex of 7 yr I recently went a bit wild and slept with him one drunken night.

I went for the morning after pill but I'm still pregnant. I've booked a hospital appointment on Monday next week and I can't help but feel I'm doing this for everyone else.

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If my brother found out it would break his strong relationship with his best friend, he would also lose a business partner and would be disgusted in me.

His friend does not have a good reputation and since telling him I'm pregnant and booked an abortion he has tried to say things like he didn't come in me and it was unlucky but we had sex a few times that night and he definitely did, so he's not supportive has no idea what I'm going through and is now messaging and trying to get with one of my close friends.

I have nothing: no house, no car, a part-time job and no savings. I can't talk to anyone in my family because my father is so poorly, I don't want to add to the stress. I don't have a good relationship with my mother and my father is my world. It would only make him worry more if I told him as he worries about me enough

I am a strong person and could cope on my own but the disgrace and stress it would bring my family is hurting me so much I don't think I could live with myself. If I go through with this I don't want to struggle my whole life and I have a lot of potential.

I am religious and worry God won't forgive me or I won't forgive myself.

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This story was sent in on 01/06/2015

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