I had a termination at 9 1/2 weeks in May 2008. I am 30 years old and my partner is 25.

I had a termination at 9 1/2 weeks in May 2008. I am 30 years old and my partner is 25. We have been together for 5 years. My partner and I had decided to keep the baby at first but, due to illness and financial difficulty, we made the very hard decision to terminate the pregnancy. I can honestly say that I made the right decision at the right time but I never knew that I would feel this way afterwards. The guilt, sadness and emptiness are indescribable. My time in hospital was horrific. I am suffering from depression and my partner is suffering from post traumatic stress. It is a part of our lives we will never forget. Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing with us…It sounds as if both of you were pressurised by your difficult circumstances and felt as if an abortion was the only sensible way to relieve that pressure. It all makes sense on one level, but at another level – the heart level – it doesn’t make sense at all. Deep down at a subconscious level, you probably both understand the enormity of what has happened for the first time and your hearts may be in pain, feeling things like grief, guilt, and sadness. It would help you both to go to your nearest pregnancy centre and talk to someone together about how you are feeling. The advisor will understand and be able to help you begin a journey of recovery so that you can relate to your experience – and each other – in a healthier way. We’ll be thinking of you both.

This story was sent in on 12/09/2008

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