So how did I end up having an abortion?

I have been married for six years and have a son of five. I fell pregnant after a month of meeting my husband. We decided to keep the baby and were happy. Last year I found out I was pregnant again while on the pill. We were both happy and even told my son he was going to have a new playmate. So how did I end up having an abortion on December 16th 2006? I was extremely sick in the first few weeks, wasn't thinking straight and doubts set in regarding money. I didn't have a job either. I knew deep down my husband wasn't keen. He has a good job but he didn't think we could afford another child. Anyway, I had a medical abortion. Nobody can ever understand the feeling of killing your own child. Nine months down the line I’m finding it hard to cope, I cry every night, I’m desperate to be pregnant, I’m filled with anger and hate for myself. I've tried to talk to my husband but he says it was my decision in the end, he just helped it along. I don't think our marriage will last much longer, although I want my son to be happy I have a lot of hate for his dad now. My advice to anyone considering abortion, don't do it unless your 100%, you’ll regret it forever. Editor’s note: It sounds as if you are trying to cope with this all by yourself as best you can. There is hope, both for you and your marriage, although it may not feel like it right now. You are feeling the loss, the grief, the anger, the self-contempt and the contempt for your husband that are so common following an abortion but there is a way through. It’s not too late. Please get in touch with your nearest centre, the helpline or use Online Advisor so that you can begin the journey on the road to recovery.

This story was sent in on 04/09/2006

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