I am 27 years old and found out recently I was pregnant.

I am 27 years old and found out recently I was pregnant. After speaking with my boyfriend, he more or less convinced me that the only way to go with this is abortion, as we both still live at home, and although we have reasonable jobs, we will not have the finance to both move out and support a child. I am therefore booked in for an abortion under general anaesthetic tomorrow. I made an initial appointment for a medical procedure but just could not face knowing what was going on. Although I know it is practically the right thing to do, I know that deep down it is not really what I want. However I know that my boyfriend will not be so supportive if I were to change my mind. I feel so alone and scared about the whole situation I don't want to live the rest of my life with regret either way. I haven't even been able to bring myself to tell my mum, as I think she would tell me everything would be fine if I wanted to keep it and she would help me. I know this is for the best in the long run, but it sure doesn't feel like it now, and I am just full of fear for the future. Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your story with us…It may be that you have gone through with your appointment now; but you may not have. I sense a deep ambivalence in you; you already know you don’t want to do it and I fear that if you have gone through with it, you’ll be struggling with your decision. Whether you have a medical or surgical abortion, you still know what’s happened. How can we not know? It’s a profound experience. What you really want is for your boyfriend to say, ‘We can manage, we can be a family, we’ll get by whatever it takes…’, don’t you? Sadly, some men don’t see the emotional price a woman can pay if she chooses an unwanted abortion when she’s under pressure from circumstances. If you’re struggling now, or still have time to choose because you didn’t go through with it, please get in touch with a centre, or ring the helpline, to talk through your situation.

This story was sent in on 21/03/2009

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