I'm 19 and I found out I was pregnant around about four weeks ago.
I told my partner and he was very happy and excited, but we both knew we had a big predicament on our hands due to our situation. He lives ninety miles away and is currently struggling to find a job near where I live, and I myself am on a temporary six month contract in my job. We spent the days following together, and it’s all we spoke about. The more we spoke about it, the clearer it was to us that we would struggle to support this baby if we were to keep it, due to our situation. My parents were so supportive and said they'd do all they could to help if we decided to keep the baby, but after a lot of thinking with our heads, and not our hearts, we decided that realistically a termination would ultimately be best.
The next day I went to see my doctor to arrange my first consultation appointment, which was booked for eleven days later. I attended this with my best friend and it lasted around an hour. I was scanned but they were unable to see anything so I had to have an internal scan! It was unpleasant to say the least. I found out I was five weeks pregnant to the day, then was sent back off to wait to speak to somebody else. When speaking to the other lady, she basically gave me my options, which were to go through with a medical termination the following week, which I didn't really like the sound of, or wait three weeks until I was pregnant enough to have a surgical termnation. Not wanting to wait that long for fear of becoming too attached and being unable to go through with the termination, I agreed to a medical termination just over a week later. I had my blood taken, was spoken to about different methods of contraception and was sent home with lots of information.
I attended my next appointment last Friday and went with my boyfriend and my best friend for support. It was a quick appointment and I was in and out in minutes. I was spoken to by a nurse, and then it was all confirmed by a doctor. I was given the first tablet by a nurse. I was told that I'd probably have a few cramps the next day, and some slight bleeding would be normal, but until Monday, probably nothing would happen. I just had to wait on the ward for two minutes to ensure I wasn't sick, then I went home and got on as norma, feeling right as rain.
The next day I met up with a few friends and was suffering with very mild period-like cramps. I was told this was normal anyway so didn't worry, although I was VERY pale and was told by everyone who saw me that I looked ill (charming!). I couldn't face food either which was unusual but I just put it down to feeling run down. I went home and retired to my bed feeling tired. The pains had become more frequent, and then a few hours later I started to bleed. I wasn't panicked by this. I thought it would be normal. Fifteen minutes later I got up to go to the toilet and that’s when it began. It was gushing out of me. I was having contractions every 2-3 minutes and was passing a lot of really large clots. The blood loss was uncontrollable and I was changing a full pad every 45 minutes. I was in a blind panic. At one point I went to change my pad and saw a really large clot. I thought that was it; I thought it was the pregnancy. I was a mess.
I called the hospital after about three hours of excruciating pain and they basically said if the pain was manageable at home then it wasn't necessary to come in, but not to hesitate if I felt ill or light headed. I gave it another 45 minutes before I decided I couldn't take any more. My best friend looked scared for me but stayed at my house while my parents took me to hospital. I had to wait awhile for a doctor to be available to see me but I was made very comfortable in my own bed and given some stronger pain relief. After waiting for about two hours, the pain had started to subside very slightly and a doctor came. My blood pressure was through the roof and my pulse was racing and for this reason they took some blood samples, and put a drip in me. After this the doctor needed to examine me and got a rather scary looking implement to put inside me which would basically open me up, allowing her to see inside me to see if my womb was open or closed. She was so lovely and made me feel as comfortable as possible. She said that my womb has closed up and I had expelled the pregnancy, but the pain I was in was being caused by the products of the pregnancy being stuck just underneath the neck of the womb. She just removed these herself and that was it, it was all over. I immediately felt better and in less pain, and started to calm down as the nurse changed my bedding and made me some toast. It was 5am and by this time I was exhausted. My Mum returned home a this point and I was kept in to be monitored. My blood pressure was taken again and had already gone right down, and was probably up because of how frightened I was when I was there.
The whole ordeal for me personally had been pretty traumatic. I know that if I hadn't have miscarried on the Saturday night, it would only have happened in hospital on Monday anyway, but it took me so much by surprise and I was so scared. I didn't expect it as miscarrying after taking the first tablet only happens in 3% of cases. It’s been eye-opening though and I know for the future next time I'm pregnant, I won't be having a termination.
Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your experience with us…women do experience termination differently as you can tell from many of the stories on this website. It’s good that you were able to access the medical care you needed and solve the problem you had.
I notice you said at the beginning that you both made the decision with your heads and not your hearts and I wonder how you are feeling at that level now. Your physical experience is obviously – and unsurprisingly - dominating your thoughts whilst you come to terms with it. For some women, once this has passed, you may begin to feel other emotions – deeper heart feelings. If you do, then please feel free to get in touch for some support.