I am the 41 year old who wrote to you several months ago following a medical abortion at Christmas last year.

I am the 41 year old who wrote to you several months ago following a medical abortion at Christmas last year. For those of you who did not read my story, I was pregnant for first time at 41 with a child I had never wanted. Eleven days later all seemed sorted with a medical abortion that was so easy and pain-free I thought it had not worked. However, the initial relief was soon replaced with a hormone-fuelled emotional roller coaster, tears, not knowing what I wanted any more, etc etc. Well, in March, three months after the abortion I still felt the same; that something had changed in me and my partner and I decided that we would "see what nature gave us" and stop using contraception again. At the end of March I had my implant removed, and on 26 June found out I was pregnant again - after just two months and at my age! I will be 42 and my partner 53 when the baby is due. My worry now is that it may not be healthy because of my age, but otherwise I feel amazingly calm about it and that this has happened for a reason - I've been given a second chance. I hope and pray that it is healthy and I will be the best mom I can. What a difference to how I felt just six months previously. I used to think about the abortion every day; now I don't, just about the little person growing inside me. Pregnancy, when it's a shock, unexpected or unwanted, can cause a lot of turmoil, but for me it changed me - forever - and changed what I want and how I see my life. I do hope that any ladies reading this and all those who have had such sad stories on here will find their peace, in whatever form it comes for them. For me, I can't believe that after I terminated a child at 41 with such speed, on automatic pilot, I was lucky enough to get pregnant again so quickly - and when I wanted to. Please keep everything crossed for me and it that all the tests I must not go through show that it is healthy. Here's to many sleepless nights, and not because of the partying that I am gladly giving up. Love and luck to you all xx Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your story with us...It’s not unusual after an abortion to feel the need to fall pregnant again, as we become preoccupied with the feeling of loss that is awakened in us (despite what we thought about falling pregnant in the first place). You have had the courage to acknowledge that this experience has changed you, and you have changed your outlook on life as a result. We wish you well with this pregnancy. Perhaps you would let us know how things turn out for you?
This story was sent in on 13/07/2009 and it's been viewed 1,367 times.

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There it was......a tiny but perfectly formed baby.....making small movements....but very much alive....unlike how my mother had described the foetus at this stage - it was not a bunch of cells!!!

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