He left his wife but went back to her

I had been seeing a married man. I left my ex partner, father of my small children for him and he left his wife but went back to her twice.
He turned up at my house one evening upset for everything he had put me through, being a single mum and struggling with my children (I have neurological illness). We slept together that night and got pregnant. We got back together for about 2 weeks when he started staying back with his wife and child and we split (again) as he said I had tricked him and he didn't want to be with me.

I still love him and need his support

He did come with me to the first scan but said he couldn't make it for the next. I do still love him and feel I need his support during this pregnancy as well as when our little boy is born. It seems that I am still chasing him but he denies being back home although he is never at his parents and always at his wife's house. I know she will find out and know he definitely won't support me when she does.
I was ok to string along for 2 years saying he would marry me, I am currently renting a house that was far too big for my needs so that his daughter could stay. I am trying my best to get on with this mess as I know I am half to blame but I am struggling and keep getting upset which is no good for me, my children or my unborn baby and know it will get worse when his wife does find out. I just cant see a way out of this shambles

Editor's Comment

your story sounds very difficult and complicated and this man has been unfair in the way that he has used you, but is not prepared to accept his responsibility or give you the support you need. I feel sorry for you and his wife as he is obviously not being honest with either of you. You may have to accept that for the moment he is not going to give you much support. There may be a pregnancy centre in your area that could give you support during your pregnancy and after your baby is born. You could check on the website to find a centre for pregnancy support in your area. or call the national helpline 0300 4000 999 where you could talk this through with an advisor.

This story was sent in on 22/04/2010

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