An unplanned pregnancy

By anonymous on 10/10/2011
I'm 31 and have 2 boys aged 11 and 8 from a previous relationship. I've been with my currant boyfriend on & off for 4 years, he is 24 with no children. We do love each other beyond control.
I fell pregnant when we first got together & had the pill abortion due to his choice that I just went along with. Then ten months ago in December I fell pregnant again, this was unplanned due to us being on & off in our relationship so my pill was unfortunately missed.
He pressured me so much into having an abortion that I decided to but then couldn't go through with it and walked out the clinic. He has said that he doesn't want children yet and is very unsure of having them with me as I already have two with somebody else. Things weren't good with us and I ended up miscarrying.
We got back together a couple of months later and things have been great until now, I found out I was pregnant again, and this isn't planned but I think I should have been more strict with my pill as I'm a bit forgetful. I told my boyfriend when I was 6 weeks and he didn't mention it for over 2 weeks. I started to bleed a little & I had an early scan which he came with me for. The baby was fine with a heartbeat but a small blood clot in the uterus. I have been worried, but he has reassured me and I thought everything was going to be ok- then yesterday (8 weeks)he has basically walked out and said I've done this on purpose and we are over, he doesn't want children etc... I'm so scared now & don't know what to do- my heart was set on keeping this baby but I don't want to ruin his life- is this my fault like he says????? help

Editor's Comment

You have been through a lot of heartache with an abortion, a miscarriage, and then bleeding during this pregnancy. Your boyfriend seems to be struggling with taking responsibility and making that commitment to you that would make your relationship more permanent. The fact that you keep getting back together despite all you have been through suggests that you do have a strong relationship. I am not sure what your boyfriend means by the pregnancy ruining his life. It sounds as though he thinks you are trying to trap him.
You say that your heart was set on keeping this baby, and because of that I think you would really struggle with another abortion. You also spent some weeks believing that your boyfriend was OK with this pregnancy, so his change of mind is hard on you.
If you would like to talk your situation through some more, or think through your options, follow the link find a centre for crisis pregnancy support in your area.

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