I could not go through with the emotional pain of having an abortion

By anonymous on 11/01/2007
I am 27 and have been married for 7 years. My husband and I have 2 beautiful daughters who are aged 6 and 3. I found out last year that I was pregnant and, from the moment I told him, both he and his mother made it clear they did not want any more children. (Conveniently enough he won't get snipped - something to do with his manhood!)

Anyway, I could not go through with the emotional pain of having an abortion and believe that even though there will be added pressures and stresses of having a baby that we need to accept our responsibilities. I am now 33 weeks pregnant and even though they both clearly told me I would have their support, they have not shown it or even said it. Now my biggest fear is that they are going to try to push me into an adoption which I don't think I could face. I am also considering having my tubes tied. However, I am uncertain at this stage if our marriage will continue on.

Editor’s note: Thanks for writing in about your situation… I notice, from what you say, how much your husband and his mother seem to be standing together. You obviously feel very alone at a time when you really need your husband to stand with you as a married couple and share the responsibility of this new baby.

I also notice your comment about abortion - you know instictively you could not go through with the emotional pain abortion can entail. It seems clear that you know what you want with regard to your pregnancy and need the courage of your convictions to negotiate your way through this intense pressure you’re feeling from your husband and mother in law.

Although adoption is a positive choice for some mothers, no one can make you place your baby for adoption against your will. I would love to see you receive the help you need right now – please contact your nearest centre for ongoing personal support from a trained advisor. If there is not a centre near you, please phone the helpline or contact Online Advisor for more options.

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