16 and 9 weeks pregnant

I'm 16, and about nine weeks pregnant, a few people know including my tutor, some close friends and my 18 year old bf.
I feel the need to share my story as I feel I am different to everyone else.
My whole life I've always believed in abortion, and if I were to get pregnant before 26 then I would have a termination.
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months and when I told him I was pregnant he cried with happiness.

He so badly wants me to keep it which makes everything so much harder.

Since the scan about two weeks ago I find myself looking at my stomach and smiling, wondering if it's a boy or girl and wondering about the life it would have with us.
I have my termination in 5 days and have been crying every night for the last week. I'm so scared and alone even though my boyfriend is supporting me. It upsets me and I often think myself as a killer.
I strongly recommend using protection, more than just a condom. As no one who is unready for a child should have to go through this decision making and loneliness.

Editor's Comment

It is hard to admit that you have changed your mind about the principle of abortion. You thought about it theoretically before, but now that you face the reality of being pregnant, it is sometimes more difficult to block feelings from your heart. I hope you make the right decision for you and your boyfriend, but please call the national helpline if you need some help and support.

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If you're struggling through a situation similar to this abortion story, or have been affected by issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

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