I fell pregnant at 17 and had my son 1 month before my 18th birthday
After a year and a half being with him I moved into his house with his family it was great because I had a lot of problems with my family. My partner was celebrating his 17th birthday in July, and we ended up having intercourse which we normally do but this time we didn't use protection and I couldn't take the pill as it made me feel quite unwell.
After a few weeks I was hanging out with my friends smoking a cigarette and wasn't feeling very well but I just thought that I had caught a bug... a few months past and I still was feeling quite unwell so I decided to go to the doctors. I told the doctor how unwell I was feeling she suggested me doing a pregnancy test so I did.
The pregnancy test came out positiveI was so scared at first because I didn't know how my partner would take the news but when I told him he was very happy to hear the news he was just concerned how his parents would take it since they are Christians.
We decided not to tell our parents until we were ready. At 4 months my partner and I went for an ultrasound. Everything was going great and we were told that we were expecting a Baby BOY!! We was so happy we named him joseph xavier :) and we ended up telling our parents. My family took it well but my partner's mother was not happy and she said to my face that I was going to be a bad mother which really hurt me since I was never raised by my mother only my dad and his family.
A few months went by and we went for a check up, I was quite nervous because I had never been to a check up due to having miscommunication from our regular doctor. As we went in the lady measured my tummy and noticed it was very small for 35 weeks so she performed an ultrasound scan and noticed my placenta was small. The concern was that our son wasn't getting any nutrients so we got rushed to King Edward memorial hospital were a man checked out son's heart rate, his heart rate was perfect but they were concerned that he wasn't receiving any nutrients. He said I would need to get induced otherwise there was a 50% chance he might not live. I was induced for 10 hours then had my water broken and was in labour for 7 hours but as each contraction was getting strong my son's heart rate had dropped so I was rushed to get a C-section at 6am and by 6:50 my son had been born 1.87kg on 13th Feb 2014.
After a month everything was great, we was still living with my partner's family but certain things started bothering me. I just had my partner's mother always watching me like a hawk and telling everyone things that weren't true... It got the point that my partner's mother kept on saying I may have post natal depression so she referred me to her doctor. I ended up doing a depression scale but that came up negative for depression ... my partner's mum talked to the doctor about me making more things up so she prescribed me with anti depressant medication which I started to take. I was taking them for a few months and was feeling so awful and tired, and I couldn't even look after my son because I was so sleepy.
It came to this one day when I had not taken my medication and I completely lost it. I tried to stab myself and started yelling at my partner's mother. My partner had calmed me down but his mother called crisis care and said that I wanted to kill myself and that I was holding my son when I wasn't. I had passed my son to my partner's mother who had taken him to another room before the situation happened. Police arrived and arrested me (I was so confused I didn't know what I had done to be in a paddy wagon, I I felt so scared and felt like I wasn't a good person).. they ended up calling an ambulance who took me to a hospital so I could see a psychologist. Me and my partner waited for 6 hours and I was finally seen. The lady said that there was no need for me to be on a medication like this and that's what made me lose it. We were not allowed to go back home and were not allowed to see my son ... (our son was staying with my partner's mother. She had said to my partner that if anything were to happen and our son wasn't allowed to be with us then to make sure she gets our son).... we couldn't have him for about a week without seeing him :( until we were called in for a meeting with Dcp (department of child protection) to do a safety plan. We then got our son. And we have moved out and have been able to be a happy family without my partner's mother interfering. If you have a partner who's parent doesn't accept you and you have a baby, move out and get away from negative people. I honestly thought that my partners mother wouldn't have gone this far just to make me feel low about myself and so she could have my child.
Things have been so great we're a happy family.
I thought I would share my story so people can understand that there are people who will go out of their way to make you feel low and make you feel like your not good enough to be a mother .Well deep down you should know that you are going to be a great mum and that you need to push the negative comments out and stay positive.
Editor's CommentIt sounds as though you have had a very poor relationship with your partner's mother, and very sad that she didn't support you as a new mother when your son was born. She could have been a very supportive part of your lives, but instead you understandably want to turn your back on her. The Christian message of love and acceptance does not seem to be very evident in this situation.
I hope you are now enjoying being a family and recovering from this experience.
This story was sent in on 13/09/2014